Collision (Zerrie)

Chapter Nine

Chapter Nine

I gulped and I could feel my heart start to pound and my palms start to sweat. "Zayn I-I can't really talk right now I have to leave in less than two minutes."

"Perrie, this is really important and has been put off for too long," he said sternly but also softly. My throat became dry and I was suddenly terrified. Did he find out that I'm talking to Jeremy again? No, that's not even slightly possible. There were no paparazzi in sight at the bowling alley and I haven't made a phone call to him outside of the confinements of hotel walls.

Why would it even matter anyway? Jeremy and I are just friends, there are no romantic feelings between us what so ever. That spark was burnt out years ago and isn't going to be re-lit. Even if I did have lingering feelings for Jeremy it didn't end well the first time, so why would repeating history have a different out come?

I tried to keep my voice from shaking as I asked, "What is it you wanted to talk to me about, exactly?" Before he could answer, Jesy chose that exact moment to barge in the room and order me to hurry up because we have to be at the studio in ten minutes and it's a fifteen minute car ride.

"Okay, you've got to get going but I'll talk to you after your show love, right?" He called me love. That's a good sign right?

"Yeah, I'll call you when we get finished. I'll talk to you then," I told him and the line went dead without a spoken 'I love you'. A part of me wanted to thank her for helping me avoid our discussion but another part wanted to slap her across the face and demand why she couldn't have waited thirty seconds longer. I mean, we're already late anyways, what difference is two minutes going to make?

"Who was that?" It was an innocent question, but I could detect the alternate meaning behind it.

"Zayn," I answered truthfully whilst grabbing my purse and checking my lipstick in the mirror one last time.

"Really?" Jesy narrowed her eyes at me and I started to get nervous.

"Really."

"So it wasn't ," she paused. "Jeremy?"She knows. Oh my god she knows. Of course she does. Jesy knows me like the back of her hand and can read me like her favorite book; word for word.

"No."

It's not that I don't trust her or that I want to keep secrets, it's just that having the guilt of talking to my ex with Zayn is already enough to carry and if I add the guilt from Jesy and even Jade and Leigh I think I'll collapse. There's only so much weight a single person can handle, and that carrying all of that would be beyond my breaking point.

"Why didn't you tell me it was him when we were at the bowling alley?" She asked, her voiced laced with a tone of hurt.

"Why didn't you tell me you knew it was him?" I shot back.

"I didn't think it was my place to say anything. If you wanted me to know you would've told me."

"Exactly, so stay out of my business Jesy," I snapped and immediately the weight of guilt resting on my shoulders tripled once I saw the expression on her face.

"Wait no Jess I'm sorry I didn't mean it I-" I pauses and took a deep breath in an attempt to gather my thoughts. "I didn't mean that. I'm just exhausted you know? And this whole thing with Jeremy is just a friendship-nothing more, but I feel guilty about it and it feels like I'm going behind Zayn's back and the picture and just everything. It's... a lot," I admitted. "And it's effecting me."

"Oh honey," she said walking up to me and pulling me into an embrace. I wrapped my arms around her and buried my face into her shoulder. "I know. It get's so god damn exhausting at times and overwhelming but you can get through it. You've done it before right? You can do it now."I was about to open my mouth and make a reply but Jesy spoke again before I had the chance. "Shit," she cursed. "We' supposed to be there in five minutes." We both scrambled to the door but I stopped her as we were just exiting the room.