Rebellion

Prologue

You’re welcome once again to Square’s magazine weekly edition of ‘Unveil the hero’. Our guest here today needs no introduction, as his popularity not only extends towards the end of our country, but also the borders of it.

Nah, you’re just being a huge flatterer. I mean it’s not like I’m a musician or an actor, or happen to be working in some sort of mainstream duty. Believe me, when they announce my name – there would be a big probability that majority haven’t heard of it. Wanna bet? I’m telling you I can make some serious money on this thing.

[Chuckles] Our guest today is that hilarious, believe me. If you refused to take the first warning serious, then perhaps you’d take his own warning serious. Ladies and gentle-men, boys and Gentle girls I give you – Dayo Tijani. I hope y’all are clapping on your seats at home, or wherever in the world where you happen to be reading this interview.

If they were, what hands would they use to hold up the magazine? I mean you can’t just assume that they’d all have the temperament to put down the paper and clap for a while. People are different, you’re gonna have to acknowledge that every now and then.

[Chuckles hard] Oh my God, if I knew what I was getting myself into today, perhaps I’d have opted to interview someone else. But it’s too late and I’m stuck with Dayo Tijani, anyway. If you don’t know, Dayo Tijani is a twenty-five year old author who–

Twenty-five, fifty-three doesn’t really matter my age. Bottom-line is I’m an author okay, and I swear to God – I’m a very short guy. Yeah, I’m roughly 5 ft. 7 inches so that makes me very undesirable. Believe me nothing else matters.

He thinks just because he puts in the fact that he is short and young, females in this country wouldn’t chase after him. Apparently he has been away from Nigeria so long that he has forgotten the basis of love for any Nigerian female. If you, the reader has forgotten also, well let me bring It to your remembrance that it’s – money. Yes, ‘money’. Like Davido would say – Thirty Billion for the account, and no woman can do ‘gra gra' for you. This money is something that this young man here, has in excess. His net-worth currently stands at 115 million doll–

Which is a really little amount of money when compared to authors like Stephen King, James Patterson and oh, J.K. Rowling. Believe me, 115 million dollars isn’t going to satisfy any thirsty woman–

That sum of money is approximately 40 billion Naira. So it doesn’t just meet qualification, but it supersedes it. In fact I’m pretty sure if any man had 40 billion naira in his account, he wouldn’t need to sing any song. The women would be the ones singing it for him. You know for the epic contest for his hand in marriage.

I knew it, they warned me. I should have stayed back in the US. It’s too late anyway, you guys have gotten me. Like they would say back in my secondary school days – ‘Dayo, Dem dey follow you.’ But it’s cool, let’s just get this over with. My stomach is beginning to grumble, and I fear if I tarry too long here – its going to grumble so loud to the point where it’s gonna be evident in the paper.

Whether or not that happens, the listeners on Radio have caught on to that exchange a long time ago–

What! What the listeners on Radio what! I don’t get, this thing isn’t intended for only the magazine! And it’s live also, and chill y’all aren’t going to edit all what I said so far? C’mon this isn’t good publicity, I was joking way too much to be taken for serious in the beginning. Oh and FYI, no one does live interview except for TV really.