chapter 4 - trying to explain

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That day at school was the hardest of my life, trying to explain my absense from twitter and facebook and worst of all... from the school disco, "Aww shoot I completely forgot about that, when was it?" I asked my friend May as we walk through the gates of the hell that is my school. "Well, it was yesterday... and since you were off I kinda didn't expect you to come" this was good, but it didn't mean I was totally forgiven. her light makeup and gawjus brown eyes made me really jelous of her, she probably bagged a date easy peasy lemon squeezy. I on the otherhand probably wouldn't, I have to paste myself with layers and layers of slap to look half as good as her.

"So, did you get a date?" I ask, peering into her eyes, she looked tired, but the reply was normal enough "Yeah, I went with Jack" My face dropped, he was the most gorgeous boy in the whole school... mind you, May desearved him with all her good looks. I tried not to sound jelous as I replied "Wow May you picked a winner there" she picked up on my jelousy though, she whispered nervously into my ear "oh, he's not that great, he's a bit of a douche really" I held her hand as we walked to the main enterance, then we saw him and May rushed down the corridoor into the bathroom. He'd only waved, what was there to be sad about? Unless, oh god... please no,

I followed her yelling, it was only 8.00 we'd have some time to talk. The toilets stank of pads, and fags, and there was a distinct scent of sadness. "May, what happened?!?!" I yell, trying to catch her attention, if there was one thing I knew about may, she loved having my attention, she was only in year 8 so it was to be expected, young kids always try to make friends with the older ones... it's a fact of life. 

"GO AWAY HANNAH, IT'S NONE OF YOUR BUSINESS" her voice wafted over the cubical door, along with the other delicious scents which belong in the bathroom. I was not standing for this, she needed my help I was sure of it, another thing I was sure of was I wasn't going to get into any more arguments today, I was determined. 

"Come on, you're not fooling me.. come out and we can talk." I said, trying to sound as gentle and sweet as it's possible to be when you're best friend may have been hurt in some terrible way. 

"I SAID IT'S NONE OF YOUR BLOODY BUSINESS, NOW LEAVE ME ALONE, YOU'RE NOT GOING TO GET ANYWHERE" 

I checked my watch, it was 8.10, we were almost out of time... she was right. 

"Ok, I'm not going to force you. see you later May" I pretend to walk out and slam the door behind me, and in a flash she is out. Her makeup about as messy as mine. We've both been through crap today, and we now both knew it. 

Her face said it all, she was depressed. She looked like a lost little deer caught in the headlights. "Aww May, it's ok" I say, patting her softly and motherly on the shoulder. "No it's not, it's Jack... he-" as soon as she'd said this the bell went. I didn't care, I needed to find out what happened, but that didn't stop May bursting into tears and running out of the room. "Christ, friends are hardwork" I say to myself before I pick up my bag and make my way to my form room. 

When I got there everyone was already sat down, laughing and giggling. Oh how I wished I could do that right now. My heart was like a lead slab in my chest, it didn't beat or move it just was, and so was I. 

After registration I had Maths, oh joy my absolute favourite lesson. 

I hate maths because of my inability to comprehend it, sure I'm a computer nerd but that doesn't mean that I can do maths, the only numbers in a computer are 1 and 0.. oh how I wish that maths was that simple.

I was early for Maths today, and I discovered that we had a test... awww no I had forgotten to revise, and double oh no I forgot my calculator. I was so screwed. The test was hard, 1. because of the revision situation, 2. because of the calculator situation 3. because of the friend situation 4. because of the mabinogi situation. My mind was on other things, and incidently so was my pen, which was now drawing a massive heart right onto the shiny fake wood table. It was almost half way through the lesson that I actually attempted my test. and sh1t it was hard. what was the circumference of a circle? how the hell was I supposed to muster the brain power to figure that out? 

My brain was at breaking point by the end of the test, and so was Mrs rogers' temper. Every few moments she was shouting at the class. My head ringing with the sound of her voice.

The bell rang, I was saved.

Now it was time to find out what the hell's up with May and what exactly Jack did.

I found May stood by the table in the main enterance, looking blankly into space, she was lonely poor might. I walked over to her and she didn't even seem to notice, her mind was on other things too. "Hey I've got a joke" I say, trying to cheer her up. "Oh alright" she said, sighing and looking at the  floor (jack had just walked past) Oh how well I was doing at the cheering up thing. 

"what do you call a one eyed dinosaur?" she shuffled her feet and replied "I dunno" I knew humour was lost on her, but carried on anyway "A d'you-think-he-saw-us!!"  she laughed, a big fake laugh. I knew she was faking it, but I wanted to find out what was wrong so I pressed on. "so anyway, now you've heard my world class comedy... could you tell me, what did Jack do?" she just sighed and shuffled her feet again, waiting for the perfect time to tell me, which was obviously not now. as everyone was filing back into classrooms, leaving me wondering when the bell was going to go. It seemed though that this was the moment May was waiting for. "well, it was dark... and he asked me if I wanted to go to the bathroom, and well... I can't remember anything else" I couldn't believe my ears, Jack Parsons, the king of all the sexies did 'that' with May? "you mean he raped you? How did you let that happen?" she looked up at me, sheepishly, "so does that mean you're?" she shook her head and I breathed a massive sigh of relief. At least she wouldn't have to deal with a baby, 

 I was angry now, so angry that I could barely think straight. Jack was going to pay! "did you tell anyone?" I asked wishing that she has done what I wouldnt've. "yeah, I called the police and got him a ride home, oh and I told my mum... then she offered me the pill and it was over as quick as it had started" I hugged her then, praising and loving my beautiful little friend. Hoping she'd stay this innocent forever. 

the rest of the day was pretty uneventful after that, no tests, or dramas or anything... just boring old school. I couldn't wait to get home and live my more exciting fantasy life. 

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