A Happy Marriage?

Chapter 28: Where Are We?

It was the most terrible thing she ever heard first hand. Sure, reading his file was bad, but it wasn't detailed in pain. Hearing from Daryl that his uncle raped and molested him from 4 years old to the age of 15 felt like she was punched in the gut and forced to watch a child die. He was so young and scared. It's no wonder he's been so negative over the years. But it also surprises Beth. It surprises her that he was the only one in that household who never acted out and became a felon. It's a shock that he had been able to maintain one job for several years without the slightest chance of being fired. He works well with most people and typically has a caring and fun attitude about him. But what makes her heart break and sink in her chest is he feels he could become the monster his parents and uncle were.

She never assumed or even thought about having a kid with Daryl, she's only 23 and doesn't know if her and Daryl would be a good match to be parents. But she's always wanted kids. And with her and Daryl- before all this shit- getting closer, she was honestly considering it. Closing her eyes, she wishes Daryl's past could just be erased. Tears sting her eyes and a shake runs through her.

"Before, you were set on saying that you didn't love your wife...was that anger or truth..."

Beth looks at the monitor and waits for Daryl's response. Was he lying when he said all those mean things about her? Or does he still just put on an act to keep the money going to Merle's debt?

"I just want her to actually love me."

"That wasn't the question."

"Have you ever just looked at someone and thought that they were the biggest pain in your ass?"

Beth furrows her brows and awaits his answer.

"That's what she is. A big pain in my ass. She's opinionated, stubborn, demanding, and puts business before pleasure."

Beth shakes her head and can't believe what she's hearing.

"All I want is for some peace. I hate watching her run herself ragged. When she's tired and in pain, I die a little bit more inside. Because no matter how much of a pain in the ass she is, I don't want to not see her or hear her voice. I want to be by her side every moment of the day."

"So you love her more than you say."

"How couldn't I? I've loved her within the first few days of meeting her. She's a challenge and sometimes ya just wanna lock her in her office until she falls asleep, but for the first time in my life, I want to let someone in. I want to hold them and love them more than I ever knew I was capable."

A tear rolls down her cheek and the male nurse in the room looks at her. It's a lot. A lot of emotions from Daryl that she was never expecting.

"Daryl, you have come a long way. You need to stop seeking the worst in yourself and start letting people in. I'm sure your wife would stand by your side even knowing your past. I'm sure she would tell you that you are worth more than anyone bargained for. She's understanding enough and there's no doubt in my mind that she loves you." Jessie sits up in a straightened position and lays the clip board on the table beside her. Her eyes are filled with truth and kindness. "Will you let her see you?"

"I need time. I want to be able to look in the mirror and not hate the person looking back at me. I just need to know who I truly am."

Her hands shake and her body goes numb.

Daryl if you only knew how much I love you then you would let me in.

He sits in that room and has no clue that the love of his life is breaking into pieces and shards. Taking a deep breath, Beth looks at the male nurse and he quietly looks at his feet.