california || harrison webb

sixteen

for the next week or two i was borderline miserable. i barely got out of bed, and when i did, it was to get food.

jc tried to get me to do something productive but i wouldn't listen. not even to him.

i shouldn't have snapped at harrison, i should've just followed my heart and dealt with kian's accusations later. but i couldn't. and now i was having to pay for it.

what if kian was right? what if he was wrong and not only did i break my own heart, but i broke harrison's along with it?

these were recurring thoughts that went through my mind.

i wasn't planning on getting out of bed until i got a text from an old friend from san antonio, who was in la for the week. she was going to some frat boy party and wanted me to come, claiming it was a 'great way to see me again.' 

i said sure, i had to get out of the house eventually.

so come the night of the frat party, my friend, alex warned me there'd be a lot of smoking and alcohol. i shrugged it off and told her i didn't really mind.

once we got there, we were greeted by loud obnoxious frat boys who were carrying in massive beer kegs. one of them greeted me by saying "hey hot stuff." i politely told him to go suck his own dick.

i went straight to the kitchen, drowning myself in vodka. i came to see my friend and get drunk, not do dumb shit. i didn't even know why i was here. 

alex was off doing who knows what. 

eventually i drank so much i could barely walk in a straight line. i wobbled off to find alex and tell her i was having a great time.

i spotted her flirting with some tall jock on the couch. i stumbled over and put my arm around her shoulder. "hey! alex, i'm having a really good time, like so good. i can't even feel anything."

alex laughed for a moment before realization hit. "holy shit, cassidy you're so drunk. have you even had alcohol before?" 

i giggled and gave a small nod. "of course i have! a little bit. never this much, it's reallll nice.." i slurred. the guy alex was flirting with probably got scared away, as when i looked over to introduce myself he was gone. 

"it's almost like, i don't even feel bad for harrison. like so what? fuck him, right?" 

"cas, i think we should take you home." she got up, trying to help me up.

i resisted, pulling my hand back. "no way, it's just starting to get fun! i don't wanna be in that house.."

alex grabbed my hand again, harder this time and dragged me up. i didn't have the strength to resist again so i just let her drag me along. 

when we got in her car i nearly passed out. nearly.

she drove me home in a time frame that felt like 5 seconds. 

everything between jc answering the door and almost crying the minute he saw me between me telling kian i was sorry and wanted him back, even though i never really had him, was a complete blur.