Heart: Under Construction

A family

So I've finally decided to render my one year indefinite leave.

Ninang was so happy when I called her. Sabi n'ya she won't have to cancel  the booking she made. She actually booked tickets for us.

Sabi n'ya early birthday gift for me.

I couldn't hide my excitement! Agad-agad kong inempake yung mga dadalhin naming tatlo.

"Babs, one week lang tayo doon bakit parang doon na tayo titira?" Elli asked habang karga n'ya si Bellamy na tumatawa mag-isa. Ang cute cute talaga ng baby namin.

"Yats syempre nagdala ako ng mga spare clothes and stuff we'll never know diba, besides may kasama tayong baby mabuti na yung may mga pang-emergency gamit" I said in defense.

I packed three travelling bags in total lang naman and a small hand cary.

Ang konti nga n'yan eh.

We're going to Palawan, may rest house sila Ninang doon and mga katiwala kaya siguradong relaxing ang magiging fambond namin.

Beach front pa man din 'yon kaya I am so happy.

I like beaches. The sound of the waves touching the big rocks soathes my entire being.

Bellamy's sleeping soundly hanggang makarating kami ng Palawan. That kid, busog na busog sa tulog.

"Ako naman" I offered to carry my son, kasi the entire trip nasa kanya lang yung bata while yung isang bag ay nasa likod nya at bitbit nya pa yung isa! Sasakitan ng katawan yung mahal kong boyfie, naawa naman ako.

"No I'm fine, tsaka mabigat yang dala mo" he said amd continued walking towards the rest house.

Hand carry lang bitbit ko at yung pinakamaliit na travelling bag which is my sons'! I get it gentleman si Elli pero syempre I felt guilty, I'm the one who packed.

Nang makarating kami sa rest house agad kong pinababa sa kanya yung bags. I let him sit on the couch tapos inagaw ko si Bellamy at nilagay sa crib.

Tinabihan ko sya sa couch and I started massaging his shoulders.

"Dapat nagpasundo nalang tayo" he insited kasi na maglakad kami para daw makita namin yung lugar. Eh meron kaming isang linggo para libutin ang lugar.

"I like walking" he whispered. I think he's dozing off. Sabi ko na eh napagod talaga s'ya!

"Go sleep, I'll unpack our things nalang" he didn't answer. He's now sleeping as soundly as our son.

I went to our room, which is across the living room lang. Simple medival themed bungalow lang itong rest house. It's cozy in here kaya talaga relaxing.

After unpacking our things I went outside sa may backyard. Nakita ko sila Manang Cely at Manong Serafin na nag-iihaw.

"Ay Ma'am malapit na po maluto, hintay lang po" sabi ni Manang.

"Naku no worries po hindi pa naman kami gutom at tsaka natutulog pa po yung mag-ama ko" I said "May maitutulong po ba ako?" I offered.

"Hindi na po nakakahiya naman, kabilin-bilinan po Ni Ma'am Lenore ay mag-enjoy at magrelax kayo, kami na po ang bahala" I pouted, si Ninang talaga, laging ganyan. She always makes sure that I'll only get nothing but the best.

She really meant every word she promised my parents.

Di lang s'ya yung ganon sa akin even Dave and Ninong. Sobrang swerte ko sa kanila.

"Ma'am ang tagal na po noong huling uwi n'yo dito, nasa elementarya pa kayo ni Sir Dave noon, akala ko nga po kayo ang magkakatuluyan" biro ni Manong Serafin. Natawa naman ako, sa totoo lang, growing up with Dave ganyan ang lagi namin naririnig.

That we're made for each other. Pero hindi talaga. We never see each other, other than best friends or siblings.

"Si Manong talaga, magkapatid kami non" sabi ko "besides di talaga, di ko talaga ma-imagine na s'ya ang makakasama ko habang buhay"

"Sabagay po may ganon talaga kahit anong pilit hindi talaga pwede" pag-sang ayon n'ya.

"Magandang hapon po" he hugged me from the back. Nasense n'ya ata na may usapang kung sino ang bagay kanino kaya nagising.

"Manang Cely, Manong Serafin, boy friend ko po si Elli" I introduced him.

"Ah s'ya ba yung tatay ni Bellamy?" Tanong ni Manang Cely. I felt Elli froze for a moment, he must be taken aback.

"Ah hindi po, iniwan na po kami ni Greg" they know Greg, kasi nga diba kababata rin namin s'ya. But they didn't know naging kami.

"Ay pasensya na iho, hindi namin alam" halatang medyo kinabahan si Manang Cely.

"Okay lang po, ako naman ang tumatayong ama n'ya ngayon" masayang sagot ni Elli.

Ang swerte ko naman talaga sa kanya. Sobrang bait.

"Alam mo Ma'am Isabelle sobrang swerte mo sa kanya, bihira ang lalaking may paninindigan" pagbawi ni Manong Serafin sa nasabi nila kanina.

"Sus maswerte din s'ya sa akin, ang ganda ko kaya" pagmamayabang ko.

Nagtawanan naman kaming lahat. Pumasok ako sa loob kasi bigla kong narinig umiyak si Bellamy. Natutulog nga rin pala s'ya!

Agad ko syang kinuha.

"Daddy bakit mo ako iniwan doon" sabi ko habang papalapit kay Elli.

"Ang sarap kasi ng tulog mo parekoy" nilalaro n'ya si Bellamy habang karga ko, and our child is gigling habang humihikbi.

I heard a snap. Manang Cely's taking a photo of us. I smiled.

I told Elli so he asked Manang na isa pa. Tumabi sa akin si Elli, he held my waist tsaka ako hinila palapit sa kanya. Kinilig ako!

Manang counted 'til three.

"Ang cute ni Bellamy, he's so happy" sabi ko habang natutuwang tinitignan yung mga litrato namin kanina.

Mabuti nga at maagang nakatulog si Bellamy kahit puro tulog naman ang ginawa n'ya mula Bulacan hanggang dito sa Palawan.

He's sleeping soundly sa crib beside our bed.

"Babs" Yats called. I hummed in reply, kasi busy pa rin ako sa pagtingin sa family pictures namin.

"Tulog na tayo" lambing n'ya while rubbing my legs with his hands. Omg.

"Elli don't touch me there" I warned. Seriously, hindi naman sa nagpapa-birhen pa ako, but I wanted to give it to him kapag sure na ako.

Mahirap na.

"I'm sorry" he whispered and took off his hand away. I sighed.

I closed the tablet and put it in the side table tsaka ko hinarap si Elli at niyakap while nakahiga kami.

"Yats... you know I love you right?" He nodded looking at me "I'm sorry kung hindi ko maibigay pa" I really wanted to give it all to him. But I am afraid baka kasi maulit yung dati.

I gave everything before but in the end iniwan pa rin ako.

Lalo na siguro ngayon, I'm not a virgin anymore, Elli can go whenever he wanted pag nakuha na n'ya yung gusto n'ya. Hindi naman n'ya anak si Bellamy. Even if he gave his name he can leave anytime.

He can just abandon us like nothing happened.

Masisi ba nila ako kung ganito ako katakot.

"Babs, I'm sorry, I know you're still afraid, but I love you and I will wait until your ready again" I smiled even though I know how hard it is for him na magtiis.

I smiled even if I don't know until when he's willing to wait for me.

Mahal ko s'ya pero may restrictions this time.

"I love you Babs, mahal ko kayo ni Bellamy" he added reassuring me that everything's okay "okay na ako sa cuddle cuddle" tsaka n'ya ako niyakap ng mahigpit.

"Cuddle is fine, we can cuddle forever" I joked.

"Wag naman forever susundan pa natin si Bellamy" he teases wiggling his eyebrow. Kumawala naman ako sa mahigpit n'yang pagkakayap tsaka ko s'ya hinampas pero nahuli n'ya ako ulit kaya I'm stuck in his embrace.