Heart: Under Construction

Harder than I thought

Okay, I'm nowhere good at dumping people. I'm always the one who gets dumped tho.

"You know what, I always knew this will happen"

"I'm sorry Ken, you'll always be my happy times" I said sincerely.

"Blythe, I really liked you, I hope you find what happiness truly means" he kissed me one last time.

I sighed. I think this is for the best.

Pinuntahan ko si James para ipaalam ang magandang balita. I'm so happy and free.

Siguro naman papayag na syang halikan ko? I mean, I've never got the chance to kiss him again after that night.

"Hi Drew, nandyan si James?" He nodded. I winked at him.

Sanay akong hindi kumakatok kaya I pushed the door open. I gasp "Oh my God! those tattoos!" He's topless, talking about great timing. He's about to put his top on pero mabilis ko s'ya pinigilan "I dumped Ken, can I kiss you now?" please say yes!

He gently pushes me away but his hands on my shoulders "Belle," he sighed before continuing "I can't I'm sorry"

I watched him dress himself. Napaupo nalang ako.

I can't believe I am crying right now, agad naman n'yang nakita 'yon kaya lumuhod s'ya and cupped my face "Belle naman wag ganito, you know how much I hate to see you cry" sabi n'ya habang pinupunasan yung luha ko.

"No, hindi mo kasalanan, I just..." I paused trying to find the right words to say "I--" I was cutted off by his lips.

Though it's just a smack, why do I feel safe and secured.

He then pulled me into a tight hug.

"Belle, I don't want you to love me back, I just want to see you truly be happy, sort things through, tama na yung pagpapanggap na okay ka na, cause clearly, you're not" he caress my back. "Focus on Bellamy this time, and I promise to be with you every step of the way, as your friend"

I nodded slowly.

Maybe he's right. Matapos ang pag-uusap namin na 'yom hinatid n'ya ako kila Ninang. I'm gonna apologize for everything and I'm gonna try to make things right.

"You sure hindi ka na papasok?" I asked him he said may importanteng lakad pa s'ya so we bid our good byes.

Dave saw me already "Fancy seeing you here?" I pulled him into a hug.

"I missed everyone" hindi naman akong kayang tiisin nito so he let me in.

Nakita ko si Bellamy nag-nunood "Baby" agad s'ya tumakbo papunta sa akin.

Gosh, miss na miss ko s'ya "I miss you Baby" I almost choke, umiiyak na naman ako.

"Mama" ang higpit ng yakap n'ya.

Nagkausap na kami ni Ninang, she's always been so forgiving. Okay na kami, I take full resposibility sa anak ko. And she offered na doon na tumira sa kanila. I said yes, balak ko na rin ibenta yung town house, ang dami namin memories ni Elli doon.

And if I really want to move on, I should at least start from removing all the things that will remind me of him.

Week passed, naibenta ko na ang town house naka settle na rin kami ni Bellamy kila Ninang.

As for Elli's family, lumipad sila papuntang Australia, they too want to move on, masakit na masakit kay Tita Kyla ang pasya ni Elli na wag magpakita.

They tried to find him, naghire pa ng private investigator pero wala din nangyari.

"Glad you come to your senses" kumento ni Mj, dinalaw ko sila ni Dave dito sa Law firm.

"Well let's just say someone knocked me down" I smiled

"Goes by the name of James Dean" singit ni Dave, binato ko s'ya ng stabilo marker.

"So ano na score n'yong dalawa?" Tanong naman no Mj.

"He's just a good friend" sabi ko pero parang di naman sila naniniwala sa akin.

Hindi ba pwedeng maging magkaibigan lang kami? As if he's the first guy friend I have.

"What?" I asked kasi naman yubg tingin nila hindi talaga sila naniniwala "come on guys pass muna ako sa love"

"Siguraduhin mong nothing more than friends" pinagdiinan pa nya yung salitang friends.

I nodded "of course, besides mag-focus muna ako kay Bellamy, marami na akong pagkukulang sa bata"

Afternoon came so I decided to go shopping ipinamili ko ng mga damit at laruan ang anak ko.

Matapos non, pumasok ako sa isang bookstore, I was busy browsing kung anong magandang book ang basahin, college pa yata ako noong huli ako magbasa ng novel.

I overhead some couple na nagtatalo "Babe! What are we even doing here, I'm so bored, kailan ka pa nahilig sa mga books?" Sumilip ako sa kabilang shelf. The girl keeps on talking kahit di naman s'ya sinasagot nun lalaki.

Nakatalikod sila pareho so I didn't saw their faces, pero parang pamilyar lalo na yung lalaki.

I shook my head, malabo naman kung sino yung iniisip ko.

So I continued on my business I heard her again "you know what, I'll see you at home ang boring mo!" With that I guessed she left.

Grabe naman yung babae, kung talagang mahal n'ya yung lalaki diba dapat susuportahan n'ya kung ano ang hilig? And what's wrong with books?

I picked John Green's novel "Looking for Alaska" I read it out loud habang naglalakad papunta sa cashier.

"Oops sorry" natabig n'ya kasi ako, pupulutin ko sana yung libro pero naunahan n'ya ako, ito yung lalaking iniwan ng gf nya kanina, I recognized the black shirt.

But what surprised me the most when I saw him face to face, he smiled "Here's your book, sorry ulit" he said while scratching his nape.

Imbes na abutin yung libro bigla ko nalang s'ya niyakap. He froze on the spot "where have you been?" I sobbed, "I missed you so much"

He gently pushed me away "Ah, miss sorry, maling tao, hindi kita kilala" words escaped me, anong pinagsasabi n'ya?

Pinunasan ko yung mga luha ko "Elli"

Gulat na gulat yung mukha n'ya, halatang naguguluhan s'ya "how di you know my name?"

Is he really not remembering everything o ayaw na n'ya talaga sa akin kaya ganito "wag mo naman akong ganituhin, isang taon mo kaming pinagtaguan and all I get is this? Ang gago lang"

Sobrang sakit naman, talaga bang balewala lang ako sa kanya? What did I ever do to him para ganituhin n'ya ako?

"Look miss, I really don't remember you, I'm sorry, but I have to go" he reached for my hand tsaka nya pinatong yung libro.

Iniwan na naman n'ya ako ng ganun ganun lang.

//ayan na s'ya 😭😭😭//