The Pack Slut

Seventeen- First Hearbreak

Damon walked me to my room and kissed me good night after everyone from the Riveredge Pack left. Some staff stayed to clean up the decorations but the Luna insisted that everyone get some rest.

"The decorations will still be here tomorrow for us to clean up. We could all use some rest after an eventful evening. In fact, I think the decorations are lovely. We should leave them up for a little longer," she insisted, with a wide smile and soft eyes, no one even wanted to argue.

"Good night, Luna," Damon whispers in my ear and pulls me back to the present.

"Good night, Alpha," I smile and kiss his neck. I then pull away and close my bedroom door behind me.

After a long night, I really need some alone time to get my thoughts together. Maybe a hot bath or—

My thought is cut short by a figure sitting on my bed with her arms crossed.

"Don't start with me," I warn and point a finger in her direction. "It's been a long night for everyone. I really need some time to—"

"Some time? You need some time?" She sneers but doesn't move from her perched position on my bed.

I just want to lay down.

"Yes, Maika, I need some time. Please, can we talk about this tomorrow?" I beg and lean against my wall next to my door. I have to get out of these heels before my feet fall off.

"No, we can't," Mai is still in her beautiful yellow gown but her stone cold eyes take away the warm effect of the dress.

"Fine, then talk and maybe I'll listen." I throw my hands up and then reach down to undo the straps of my heels. I finally free my feet and I take a deep breath as my feet sink into my plush carpet.

"You lied," she says simply. "You lied to me. You told me he wasn't your mate. What the hell was that?" Her voice cracks and my heart breaks.

"Mai," I say softly and take a step forward. "I didn't lie, not to you. I couldn't lie to you."

Her tear streaked face turns slack and then lights up with anger, "so you lied to everyone else then?!"

I nod my head and look down because I can't bear to look at her tears. I clasp my hands in front of myself because I suddenly feel awkward and confused at what I should do.

Do I comfort her? Does she want that? Should I explain? Or does she want me to stay quiet?

"Either way, you are a liar. Either way, someone gets hurt. Don't you see?" Mai finally stands up before me but I still can't look at her. "You aren't his mate, you can't be Luna. When he finds his real mate, what happens then? Or when you find yours? Didn't you think about this? Don't you think about anything?"

"Of course I do!" I yell back defensively and pick my head up to see Mai's rage. "Stop yelling for Christsake! I didn't ask for any of this, okay, it just happened!"

"You're yelling too!" She screams back and her dark eyes grow darker.

We both don't say anything for a few pauses. The only sound in the room is of our harsh breathing and the silent but deafening staring match between us.

Then, as if both our lit fuses reached the end, we explode at the same time.

"I fell in love with him you can't control who you love!"

"You had a choice and you chose wrong!"

"I didn't ask for any of this I just wanted to be with the one person who loves me!"

"You never think of the consequences, you always do whatever you want!"

"Everyone is trying to tell me what to do and what not to do but it's my life don't I get a say?"

"You are selfish."

The next sentence out of my mouth gets caught at the edge of my lips and my heart squeezes. The pain in my chest explodes to every inch of my body and I feel like my lungs have collapsed. I can't breath anymore. There is no more air to suck in.

"I—I didn't mean...Nora?" Maika's eyes are the size of saucers and she stares at me with shock and instant regret as I continue struggling to breath.

"Don't call me that," I spit out in a raspy voice. "Don't you dare call me that."

Maika reaches out a hand but I take a step away from her, "Lenora—"

"Get out," my voice is surprisingly calm. I clear my throat and say it louder, "get the fuck out."

I then turn back back and stare at the ground, trying to fight against the heavy tears that push against my eyes. I hear some shuffling and then my door open and close softly and I know she's gone. I wait another ten seconds for her to take a few steps down the hall before I burst into tears.

I clutch my chest with one hand and sob into my other hand to try and contain the sound. I bite my lip so hard I draw blood but I don't stop. My fingers numbly fumble with the zippers and straps of my dress but as soon as I get them off, I toss the dress onto my floor. I throw on a random t-shirt and a pair of black sweatpants from my closet.

I then collapse on top of my bed and burrow myself under all of the blankets and pillows. I hope that if I bury myself deep enough no one will find me.

I shut my eyes as tight as I possibly can but I can still see Maika's face in my mind. Her anger and regret. Her tears and her hand reaching towards me. I replay every word in my head over and over until I forget what we both said.

It doesn't matter anymore, none of it. She won't ever talk to me again.

I've never had my heart broken though I've broken many hearts before. I never would have thought it would be over a girl. But Mai isn't just a girl. Mai is—was—my best friend. My only friend. And I ruined it.

I let a guy get between us.

What kind of friend does that?

I've always known I am a terrible person. From the way people talk shit about me to the way I do shit to other people. I know I never deserved a single good thing that ever happened to me.

I guess when you're that bad a person, it transitions over to how bad of a friend you are.

I know every single thing Mai said about me was true. She was right about it all.

I am the most selfish person I know. I didn't think before I jumped into this mess. I am the world's biggest liar.

Though I have nothing to compare it to, this heart break feels worse than anything I have ever experienced.