The Pack Slut

Twenty Two- This Is the Hardest Part

I shove Damon out of my room and I grab a duffle bag. I don't think—I just pack.

I shove everything I can fit into the open zipper—leggings, shirts, socks, etc.—and then yank it closed. I don't bother changing out of the shorts and shirt I put on this morning. Instead, I shove my feet into my converse and leave the laces untied. I heave the bag of clothes onto my shoulder and then open my door to see Damon waiting for me still.

"Where will you go?" He asks and jogs to catch up to me as I stride down the hallway to the stairs.

"As if I would tell you," I scoff and continue on my way.

"No, you don't know. You have no plan. You are rushing into this blind and you will get hurt," Damon rushes to explain as if that would keep me here. As if I would listen to what he has to say to me anymore.

How do I know he isn't lying again? The concern in his voice could be fake. There's no way he actually cares at all.

"What's it to you? What difference could it possibly make? I'm sure you would love it if I just drove off a cliff because then no one would threaten your credibility." I think of all the stories he will tell the pack about how I abandoned them, or maybe he will say he banished me for attempted murder.

I don't care anymore. I just need to get out before I explode again; I'm a ticking time bomb about to take out this entire pack and it would be best for everyone if I'm far away when I go off.

I walk to the library without even glancing at all the people who stare at me in utter confusion. Who else would be shocked to witness Lenora Anderson, the pack slut, strutting through the library of all places with a duffle bag on her shoulder, murder in her eyes, and the soon to be alpha trailing behind her like a lost puppy?

I don't pause for a single second because I know exactly where this book is kept. I've read it more times then I can even recall.

With what I hope appears to be a confident step, I pick up the book I am looking for and turn on my heal. Damon jumps out of my way and then races after me once more.

"For God's sake, listen to me," Damon commands but it has no effect on me.

I enter the garage next and open the door to climb into my car. I throw my bag in before me but before I can get into the car after it, Mai runs into the garage.

"What have you done?" She screams at Damon and runs over to me. "Nora, please, stay. We can work it out. Don't leave now, not while you're upset." She grips my shoulders and let's her tears fall from her eyes without even bothering to hold back. It's one of the many qualities I love about her: she never holds back.

"I'm fine," I promise but I know it doesn't reach my eyes. "I'll call."

I hug Mai as tightly as possible and whisper in her ear so Damon can't hear, "tell my mom I'm sorry not sorry. Tell my dad I'll accept my punishment sometime between my bank robbery and my third Vegas wedding but only when I'm not sober of course."

Mai laughs weakly and nods her head, "I love you." She bites her lip raw to hold back a sob and my heart aches at the pain in her face.

I wanted to hurt Damon, I didn't want to hurt Mai. But no matter the pain she is feeling now, it will be worse later if I wait any longer.

This was bound to happen, I convince myself. I've always been on the path of self destruction.

"I love you too," this is the hard part—the unavoidable part. "Don't watch the next episode of Thrones without me."

"I won't," she promises and I know she will keep it.

I then let go and close the car door behind me—otherwise I won't ever be able to leave. I look at Mai through the window and my heart breaks like never before. I glance over to Damon behind her who looks like the breeze could knock him over.