Fionn Whitehead •Imagines•

Schizophrenia

Hey y'all! This chapter was requested by Riana_Jannat23
If you guys want a specific imagine then feel free to PM me!

Warning: There will be some matter about mental disorders and self harm. Please do not read this chapter if you don't feel comfortable
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"Stop, Stop, Stop", I screamed, trying to block out the sounds from my mind. "Do it, do it, do it", the voices in my head kept telling me.

"I don't want to, I don't want to die", I screamed, salty tears running down my cheeks.

"You have too, he doesn't love you, your crazy, your crazy, your crazy", the voices in my head screamed louder.

My head started spinning. I saw them. The black figures. They were all around me. "Stop, stop, stop, stop", I screamed.

    I moved back. They cornered me. Sliding down the wall, I put my head in my hands. "Please stop, please stop", I mumbled as I rocked back and forth.

    "Kill yourself, he doesn't love you, Fionn doesn't love you, your crazy", they chanted as they repeated it over and over again.

   I couldn't escape them. I had to do it. "I'll do it, just please stop", I sobbed out loud. As I stood up, the figures moved towards me.

  I ran towards the kitchen. Grabbing the biggest knife I could find. I quickly made it to the bathroom and locked the door.

    I looked up at the mirror. My cheeks were red and stained with tears. My eyes were dull, my hair fell limply on my shoulders.

  The figures started to surround you. "I don't want to do it, please stop, I don't want to die", you sobbed. "He doesn't love you. He hates your. Your crazy. Crazy, crazy, crazy", they all chanted.

    I love Fionn, he said he loves me too. Deep down I knew that he loved me. But all that was blocked by the chanting of the figures. Maybe they are right. He can't love me. I'm insane.

   Through all this, I didn't hear the front door opening. "Riana?", I heard Fionn's voice echo throughout the house. My sobs got louder. My hands were trembling and my head was spinning.

  I walked over to the bathtub, opening the water to the hottest that it would go. As water filled the tub, the figures were still surrounding me, chanting the same thing. Over and over again.

  I sat in the hot water. It was burning my skin. I wanted to scream, but I couldn't. I couldn't talk. I pushed my sleeve up, carving the word Crazy on my arm.

   I watched the scarlet blood drip into the water. "Riana?", Fionn's voice said from the other side of the door. I kept sobbing as the water engulfed me. As water made contact with the fresh cut on my arms, I screamed.

  "Riana? Riana open the god damn door!", Fionn screamed. The figures were now blocking the door. I carved He doesn't love you on my exposed thigh, screaming each time I
made a cut.

   The scarlet water was now falling out the tub onto the marble floor. It seeped through the crack in the door towards Fionn.

   "Riana? Oh my god, Riana don't do it. Please don't do it", he screamed as he tried to open the door. I heard his body slam against the door multiple times. I heard a loud thud and then a cracking sound.

  The bathroom door suddenly fell to the floor. It didn't startle me, I was too busy staring at the crimson water seeping in between my fingers.

"Riana, darling what are you doing?", Fionn asked as he rushed toward me. His strong arms gripped me as he pulled me up from the bathtub.

He sat me down on the floor as he examined my arm and my thigh. "Riana, my darling, why did you do this?", he whispered while stroking my hair.

"They told me too, they said you don't love me, how could you love me Fionn? I'm crazy. They told me so Fionn", you whispered while looking at the ground. Tears silently falling down your cheeks.

   "Baby, I love you so much. You aren't crazy, your beautiful, talented, the most amazing girl I've ever met. Please don't do this, you aren't crazy my love", he said as his fingers moved my chin upwards so I can face him.

   I collapsed in his arms. His intoxicating smell of mint and cologne soothing me. He rubbed my back as I cried.

   "Come one, let's get you cleaned up", he smiled sadly at me. I nodded my head, letting him disinfect my cuts. It hurt so much, but I didn't dare make a sound.

After he bandaged me up, he led me to our room. Fionn helped me change out of my wet cloths. He handed me his sweatshirt, which he knew was my favourite.

     After I got dressed, he tucked me under the covers and placed a gentle kiss on my temple. He laid down beside me while stroking my hair.

  "Riana, never forget how much I love you", he whispered as my eyes fluttered closed