Run [Wattys2018]

||Book of Reflections||

My chest is on pain
And I failed to love you
With the galaxies
---Blighting ashamed.

These are from my notes.

Life

Life is tasting the fact that we are sent into the earth to worship god and to fulfill the responsibilities from mistake we have done and to face and conquer the  tribulations itself. 

Crush

If you want someone, you can do everything just to put her heart into - colorful world of divines

Ask yourself

I kept asking myself- am I bad? When literally its vague from the truth, but what makes her feel anxious is the society. Society's pushing her to be bad.

Straight forward

If I were to describe myself, I'll take all the opportunity to gather thoughts in my mind and list it down but the centromere of my Personality itself and is just all about ---being a strong and determined girl. Ever since, i garnered the highest position and  believe in the kind of passion I have. 

Life

What is life for you?
In my own perspective, life is a race. Other people will ruin you, and will smirch you. If you will not run you'll get trampled by them so you'll have to be strong in order to win the fight. And furthermore, life is taking all the responsibilities, tribulations the opportunities and obligations as a human being and value it by loving and enjoying your life-existence. As a student who garnered the highest position and rank, in a humble-way, I knew it in myself that this is the outcome of the trust, believing and being determined to gained it, there's a life lesson that i have settled In Myself that not all the time I shine and we know that God is the one who can only control the future itself because that's life and its not stable and another more, Life is tasting the fact that we are sent into the earth to worship god and to fulfill the responsibilities from mistake we have done and to face and conquer the tribulations itself. And life is short so, Dont make it shorter. Dont stress too much because you're to young to be stressed-out and Dont took too much worry about your life- future because anything that goes- comes and if this meant to you, it will happen to you. That's it. 

Drama

How could this happen to me? I have lots of weaknesses, I wish I can cover it with daub but its impossible because I am pessimistic. I am not good in speaking english,  Honestly, I can only construct sentences or hurricanes of thoughts if and only if writing. If I heard one positive thing about other people's personality compared to me, i feel so small and it melts my heart like a cheese so. I don't know, I am not insecure though yes ofcourse, I cant mirror myself through them because we are all different and unique. But, its vague that i am just frenzied and i felt its not fair. Maybe,  I am drowning myself like this because I knew it in myself that j can't be like her.  Garnering rank 1 is both a blessing and a curse for me. Furnishing walls in my mind like- "I have to be like Albert Einstein who have 200 intelligence quotient in order for me to win the game"-le most toughest words I ever had built in my mind so. And that's my mistake.People see me as their "role-model, rank 1 of grade 8- but is not good in english" Hays. I wish I am like her. I WISH I AM HER.

What is love?

I researched online for the meaning of love and the results were muddled and literally aching and confusing becauseSo in my own perspective, you can't love someone more if you don't love yourself. Love just begins within yourself, and if it is earned you can give and show the affection itself and passionate to the person you love the most.  Love begins with an affection, trust, care and loyalty. Love is when you accept the flaws and imperfections of someone you desired and whom you wanted to live with, eternally. And  lve already experienced falling in love with a person in just the first glance I looked at to. Its my parents. Loving means sacrificing and when you sacrifice yourself, you give everything. So just like the love of your parents, they are putting their selves into hardship-working so that they can give us food to eat and shelter to live. As a return, We are willing to pay and obliged to fulfill the efforts by making them happy and proud. Every things in the world exists and the center element is love. It doesn't mean that if you love someone you are required to give your virginity, it is not appropriate in our age, unless you are now in the stage of adultery/hood. So, the maturity of people today is lesser than the amount of our eyebrows if counted and looks like a flower that just begins to grow and bloom. So you have heard the phrase " anything that starts, ends?" For me its not. Because for me, LOVE IS LIKE A RIVER flowing, it's everlasting without an ending.