After the War

Chapter 1

Yes, I know I have already edited it and changed it a bit. But as I lost it all, I have to retype it. And while doing it, I am finding bits that just don't quite make sense or could be changed and added too. Hoping you still like it. 

It had been 3 years since I left. I had to get away. I didn't know what I was doing when I left. I just knew I had to leave. I knew I needed a change, I needed to know who I was. I had been fighting a war for so long that I didn't know anything else. All I knew was that I was the know-it-all bookworm who saved the Harry Potter and Ron Weasley's life more times than I could count. I had to be the best at everything to be able to live. But I knew deep down that there was more to it than that. There had to be more. Finally. The war ended. I felt like I had the chance to be anything I wanted to be. Except, I couldn't.

I tried so hard to be okay for everyone. They all needed someone to lean on and I tried so hard to be that person. And while I was busy, this worked. I could keep my mind occupied, I could push everything that happened to the back of my mind. But after a while, there was nothing left me to keep my busy. Everyone started to get better and start to take charge of their own lives again, and it all started to come back to me. Everywhere I looked there were bodies and death. It kept following me where ever I went, no matter where I went it was there. So, I ran. I ran to where I knew I would be safe, to the muggle world. Where they had no knowledge of the war. They didn't know who I was. they didn't know the things I had done. So, I could live in peace. Without magic. Or as without as I could get. I still needed parts of it to hide who I was. Like the glamour charm.

Once a week I took out my wand, and placed a glamour charm on myself. After I had a staring contest with it. This could sometimes last a minute, sometimes up to 10 minutes. Memories came back while I was holding it. Some were good. Others were not. And some were just so warped that I just didn't know if they were real or not. I tried so hard to ignore them. Knowing I had to deal with this every week was extremely draining. I just didn't know how to stop it. Not with out going back to the wizarding world. And that just wasn't an option. Although, I managed to find a squib therapist, and that did help. It meant that I didn't have to find ways to change what happened, so I could explain it. The only ways I could think to do it would still have me locked up in a psych hold. And not for 48 hours either.

It took two years before I could even work up the courage to step foot back into the wizarding world. I was so scared of the repercussions of what I did. I was scared of their anger. And I had only just started to get some sense of normality, I couldn't have it ripped out from underneath me so soon. There was one morning in particular, I was casting the glamour charm and having flash backs, thinking about Harry and Ron. I was imagining all the Christmas's that we shared, all the good times. I had my eyes closed, thinking about it all, when suddenly I felt like I couldn't breath and all of a sudden, I heard lots of noise and chatter around me. I opened my eyes to see my self in Diagon Alley. I couldn't believe that I was here. I looked around and saw a group of familiar red heads moving through the crowd, and I found myself following them.

They wound their way through the crowd and walked into Weasleys' Wizard Wheezes. I stayed out the front and watched them hug and greet George and Ron. They started to look around the shop, I watched them walk around when all of a sudden, my eyes locked on to someone and my breath got caught. Oh god. No. Harry. I couldn't help but stare, he looked the same as when I left, except older. Like he still had the weight of the world on his shoulders. He was wearing his Aurors uniform, looking very professional and grown up. It started to stir up some old feelings that I thought I had gotten rid of, that I thought I was over. He turned suddenly and looked at me. My eyes connected with his. He smiled at me and started to make his way out of the shop. No, he couldn't know it was me. There was no way. I turned around and walked away, I found an alleyway and apparated away back to my apartment in Australia.

That had been a year ago.