After the War

Chapter 21

"What?" Mrs Weasley, Harry and Ginny all said at the same time.

I took a deep breath and sat down before replying, a long enough answer one might say. "At the time, I was still having side effects from what Bellatrix had done to me. I was in constant pain. The healers could only give me so much pain and dreamless sleep potions for fear of me becoming addicted. We did the normal course of potions that we were meant to do, but due to what was done to me, they did what they could, and anything more would have poisoned me. So, I had to stop taking them. Muggle pain killers helped a little, but not enough."

"I was trying to be there for everyone because I was the only one that could. Ron and I were together for a bit, so it was my job as his girlfriend, and then as his friend. Then Harry needed me, and then your family, you had all just got one son back, only to lose another a couple hours later. You were all still struggling, so I was doing everything I could for you. And then you all started to need me less and less and there was nothing to distract me from the pain. I tried, for weeks I tried, and when I couldn't anymore, I went to the only mother I had, I told her I couldn't handle it and I was told she was too busy for me. That was when I realised, I couldn't stay. You all had your own families, and I had nothing.

"So, three days later, I left. I decided that I would find my mum and dad, and if I couldn't, well, it's not like anyone would miss me, right? But I did find them. And then I started to get better, the pain started to go away. My parents helped me find a therapist and then the whole bookstore thing happened. Shortly after, I met Emma and we became friends, and then we both needed someone to live with to share the costs of living and before I knew it, I had a life here and didnt want to return to where I had nothing. So, bit by bit, everything started to fall into place. My life slowly became worth living for once again and I wasn't the same wreck as before, until Emma found my wand, of course. At that moment, I honestly thought it would all go downhill again, that everything would go up into flames. But no, I was wrong, it didn't...

"And I guess that brings me back to your question. Yes, Mrs Weasley, I did come to you. I also went to Ron. And to Percy. But no one was there to catch me. No one was there for me like I was for everybody else. I  could've either stayed there and continued living my life miserably, or run after a new challenge, a new life, a fresh start. That's why I left. And I don't regret doing it. If it were up to me, I wouldn't have ever returned. If Harry hadn't found me, to you, I would have still been dead. I would have kept it that way for good."

"Hermione, dear, I... I didn't know." She said.

"Yes, you did. You just didn't want to acknowledge it, because everyone else was finally getting better. And there I was, about to ruin everything. Look, it's okay. It's fine, really. But please, don't try to make me feel bad for putting myself first for a change and trying to get better."

"'Mione, why didn't you come to me?" Harry asked, looking at me with tears in his eyes.

"Because Harry, after everything that had happened, if anyone on this earth deserved to be happy, it was you." I said place my hand on his cheek, "And you finally had that, with Ginny. I wasn't going to ruin that for you."

"I deserved to have my best friend by my side. I deserved to be given the benefit of the doubt. We promised Hermione, in that tent, we promised that no matter what, no matter what life threw at us, no matter who came and went, you and me, that was what mattered, that we would always be each other's constant. And you were. And then, out of nowhere, ... You were gone. Just like that. Hermione, your leaving hurt more than anything. Your leaving is what broke me."

"And my staying is what broke me." I said to him.

He stood up and walked away, slamming the front door on the way out. I closed my eyes and pushed the tears away. I wasn't going to cry, not here, not now. I felt a hand on my arm and saw Emma sitting next to me. I gave her a thankful smile. She turned around and swapped her plate with Harry's and grabbed her drink. "Hermione, my drinks empty and I am not getting up again." She said to me with a wink. I couldn't help it. I started laughing and couldn't stop, after a moment, Ginny and Dean followed suit while Mr and Mrs Weasley just sat there looking at us like we had lost our minds. After a couple of minutes, we all started to settle down, only for Emma to say "So, you going to wave the magic stick, or do I have to get up?" I just laughed at her again while summoning a can for all of us but Mr and Mrs Weasley.

"What is that?" Mr Weasley asked.

"It's called Canadian club, it's a muggle whiskey." I said

"It's nothing like anything in the wizarding world dad, it is so much better. There is only the tiniest of burns with a nice flavour and it is sweet and bubbly." Said Ginny.

"May I?" asked Mr Weasley, gesturing to my can. I offered to pour some in a glass for him, but he said he wanted to try the full 'muggle experience' and took a sip from the can. "This is quite extraordinary, Molly, would you like to try some dear? I think you might like it." He offered the can to her which she took with a small smile in my direction.

"Oh, that is nice." She is exclaimed.

"Would you both like a can?" I asked, summoning two more when they both nodded their heads and handed my can back. We finished dinner with a small talk. Emma, Dean and I answering their questions about the muggle world.

We sat there talking for a while, me explaining more things to Mr and Mrs Weasley, and us telling stories to Emma. Like the time that Harry had to host Quidditch tryouts, and for some reason he couldn't believe the amount of people that had come just to stare at him and not actually try out to be on the team. He also couldn't believe how many people were not from Gryffindor, or how many from Gryffindor had come just to stare. I revealed that I had confounded McLaggen, making sure that he would not be on the team; apparent I managed to surprise Ginny with that one. I couldn't help but throw glances at the doorway, hoping that he would come back in, I was ignoring the sad looks Ginny and Dean kept throwing my way when they caught me, and I was glad for Emma's hand on my leg.

"Well, I think we had better be off." Mr Weasley said, "I am so glad that you are back in our lives. We will understand if you choose to stay away..."

"No, we won't!" Mrs Weasley said, looking at her husband as if he had three heads

"Yes, we will Molly. I hope that you choose to stay in our lives, but we will understand."

"Thank you, Mr and Mrs Weasley. I can't make promises, but I will try." I say smiling at them.

"Would you mind if we left from the entryway?" Mr Weasley asked.

"No, of course not, that's fine." I said standing up, "And if you ever come over again, feel free to apparate there as well."

"Sorry. Apparate?" Emma said.

"A magical form of transportation. Think of it as a form of teleportation, an uncomfortable one."

"That sounds awesome." She said grinning at me.

"I may show you some day or you could get Dean to." I shook my head at her as I lead them all to entry way.

I hugged Mr Weasley goodbye, "Come past the burrow soon, okay?"

Mrs Weasley looked at me for a moment before huffing and pulling me into one of her smothering hugs, I wrapped my arms around her and had to hold back a sob. "I'm sorry." I whispered to her.

"No, I am sorry." She said, "I should have listened to you. He loves you, he just missed you and has so much anger over you leaving. Give him some time, he just found you, he won't leave again." She gave me a quick squeeze before pulling away, "Yes, you must come see the burrow. We have completed rebuilding it and the gardens, and Luna has finished her house. Emma dear, you must come as well."

We said goodbye and watched them vanish into thin air. I was about to turn back to the kitchen when I saw something out of the corner of my eye out the window, someone sitting on the bench across the road. It was like they could sense me watching them, because after a moment they looked up and locked eyes with me. Eyes that I would have been able to recognise anywhere. 

Harry.

Thank you too   for helping me edit this so it can actually be read and understood.