How to save a Life (Jalex)

Demons

“Look into my eyes It's where my demons hide It's where my demons hide“

I couldn't handle this look. I stormed out of the room, out of the hospital. Away from him, as far as possible.

I could have dealt with everything but not with that. I could have dealt if he as forgotten everything. I could have dealt with it if he had lost his voice. But not with hate. Alex was the most important person in my life. He was the guy I loved more than everything else, more than myself.

I was so full of flaws. I'm too tall, too thin. My eyes are too big and my nose was crooked. I don't think I'm the beauty in person but who does? And the only reason I stayed strong was Alex. He told me everyday I was beautiful, unique and special. He showed me everyday that he needed me. That my parents and all the fans who hated on me were wrong. That I was worth living.

And there was him. Beautiful brown hair and beautiful brown eyes that sparkled like the stars. A heart of gold. Perfect skin, perfect face, the perfect amount of muscles and of the the perfect height. A little bit smaller than me but I liked that.

But we shared one thing. One thing I wish I wouldn't have and I hate to see on Alex. My eyes shone with sadness, anger and fear. Alex eyes were full of depression, fear, hate. Right, he hated himself. For being the most perfect guy on this fucking world. But what should I do? I can't do more than I already do.

Flashback

“Please.. Tell me what's wrong. I can hear it in your voice and your eyes are even sadder than usually.” I begged. I couldn't just watch him falling apart, I had to do something. I wasn't good enough for anything but I hoped I could just help Alex through whatever he was going through. He needed a friend and I wanted to be that friend he relied on.

“It's just.. you know.. my demons..” He mumbled. I looked sadly at him. His demons were strong. They always kept telling him he was worthless and a failure. But to me he was more than perfect and just the love of my life. Yes, I, Jack Bassam Barakat, am totally fallen for him, Alexander William Gaskarth.

I just loved every little bit of him. How he laughed, how he made jokes, how he was so concentrated over new lyrics. How his face lighted up when he got a present or chocolate. But I also fell for the way he looks when he has had a hard time. When he had a night without sleep, he drank so much coffee and then was all jittery the whole day. He was such a strong person without even knowing it himself. He thought he was weak but to me he was the strongest person ever.