How to save a Life (Jalex)

Walls

"I'm gonna break down these walls  I built around myself.  I wanna fall so in love with you and no one else could ever mean half as much to me as you do now. Together we'll  move on, just don't turn  around." ( All Time Low - Walls )

Alex P.O.V.

Since I confessed my feelings towards Jack a week has passed. He acted like nothing had happened, but why did he do that to me? He knew I had always problems with confessing my feelings, so could at least think about it and not just accept it and go on like before.

I wanted to overcome my anxiety, my depression with his help and only his. As much as I liked the therapist, he wasn't Jack and couldn't ever help me as much as my best friend did. I knew Jack wasn't a professional psychologist, but if he would return my feelings, he could possibly mend my heart and my soul. As corny as it sounds, it was true.

But as much as I wanted to ask him what he felt for me, I didn't have the guts to do it. I was so afraid of him rejecting me. If he would, and he probably didn't feel more than friendship for me, I would break and this time without hope of being repaired. Pathetic, I know.

We had to talk, it was unevitable, we both knew that. Just because both of us realized this, didn't mean that we would really talk. Whenever I tried to bring up the topic he would try to avoid it and distract me from it. I was really annoyed by his reactios but I didn't want to pressure him. He had never done it with me, so I didn't want to start. I mean, if he the most impatient person on this world can be patient, I could be as well, couldn't I?

Fuck, but that was so hard. I saw him everyday and had to resist the urge to just press my lips against his. I realized he had to be straight. I mean, he had never something with a guy, not even a crush on one. And even if hewas gay, or bi, he wouldn't have feelings for me. I mean, he was so handsome and funny and talented, and I was just me. The fuckep up guy. Nothing more and nothing less. How could someone even want to be friends with me?

I know, why did he start again with this shit? Because it was true. I asked myself so often why I even had such awesome friendslike Zack, Rian and Jack. Did I deserve them? No, not in a million years. They gave up the chance to go to college and get a high paid job, just for a band, going on tour, making music, and never having the guarantee of staying famous. We could be unpopular tomorrow, what meant losing our record deal and ending up jobless. Not the best prospects, right?

We would break up soon, I suspected. They could go on with their life, maybe even find a better paid job and a better friend. They were all so talented, definitely too talented for such a crappy lead singer like me. Who knows what would happen if I just quit being the voiceo of All Time Low? Who would truly care? Probably nobody.

I mean why should I continue with the band? I hadn't sung since I tried to end my life, neither had I touched my guitar. I didn't even know how I got so far with the band. The fans probably hated my voice and every song I wrote and just listened to our music because "it was pretty popular". Or because of the other guys, they were handsome as hell. I was so ugly, even my reflexion in the mirror would run away from me.

Jack P.O.V.

I thought about what Alex had said tome for more than a week. At first I was so shocked, Alex fell in love with me? That had to be a joke, he couldn't mean that. But after this week I would have come to realize that he couldn't be joking, not about his feelings.

He was always so picky about whom to tell the truth about his feelings, his problems and his thoughts. I was so happy as he told me what he felt for the first time as we where 17. He told me that he was so afraid to lose me, I had been the first true friend he had. After that he told me almost everything, even when he had had the urge to cut. But he became more distant on our last tour.

Now I knew the reason behind it or at least I thought so. He could have been afraid to tell me what he felt. Why did he tell it now? He could have told me instantly. But what if he had just realized his feelings? Not that it would change much, it was more important that he had realized them.

I asked myself what I felt for him or if I still felt something for him. It was clear that I couldn't feel nothing for him, I would always feel friendship for him. I meam he's my best friend, that couldn't be erased from my mind. Not in a hundred years.

Whatever would happen, I needed to find the guts to tell Alex everything. How I felt. That nothing could make me happier than being his boyfriend, as corny as it may sound. I could no longer deny my feelings, they needed to be allowed to be shown. It wouldn't help to deny them furthermore, it would only hurt both of us.

"Alex? We need to talk, you know that we have to. Otherwise it is nearly impossible to live together.", I began, my voice shaky. Alex looked at me and nodded, I knew he had waited for me to make the first step, he would never pressure me into saying the things I would say. He knew that adsitting feelings is almost as difficult for me as it is for him.

"I thought about what you have said. To be honest, I have felt something for you for a few years but wasn't sure anymore because it was kinda hard for me as you left and I began to deny that I had feelings for you, I know that we this was the worse decision I have ever made. But as you came back from therapy and today me that you have fallen in love with me, I came to the concussion that my feelings for you never faded. They will probably never go away, so I will ask you the most important question I can think of: Alexander William Gaskarth, would you give me the honour of being your boyfriend?"

He looked surprised at me but then he nodded his head violently. After that he threw himself at me and hugged me with all his power. I became slightly worried because it wasn't the bone-breaking hug I had expected.

But soon I forgot my worries because this awesome guy I could call my boyfriend now, pressed his lips against mine. Oh god, who thought kissing Alex Gaskarth could feel so good?!

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Hey guys!
Sorry if this has any typos, I wrote it on my tablet and yeah :)

They kissed and are together now! This is my favourite chapter so far and I had fun writing it :)

Stay tuned, this story isn't over, just because they kissed. Maybe this was just the calm before the storm.... ;)

See you all next time!