Magnetic

Coming to Terms

Sitting in the back of the car, Sam drove carefully as you laid cuddled against Dean's chest. Your whole body ached, but that didn't matter. What mattered is that you were back where you belonged. Safe in Dean's arms, hoping he would forgive you for your stupidity.

He held you tight to him, his fingers brushing up and down your arm. "Dean..." You started, but he hushed you.

"Shh, just relax. We'll talk when we get back to the bunker." He assured you, making sure you didn't squirm and injure yourself anymore. "For now, relax."

It was hard to relax. Near impossible after everything you had just been through. Even though you were exhausted, and your body battered, your mind refused to calm. It kept playing the events of the day over and over again, reminding you that you had been the one to kill your father. The one to sink the blade deep in his chest. It didn't matter that it was the Demonic version of your Father. It had still been him, the man you had always loved.

You didn't even realize a tear had slipped down your cheek until Dean brushed it away. "Y/N, what's wrong?' He asked, his eyes scanning your body to see if one of your wounds was causing you too much grief.

"I killed my father." You whispered, hating how the words sounded out loud.

"No, you didn't." He argued. "That was not your father. Not anymore. What you did, was save yourself, and many more people from a Demon who doesn't care who it kills."

"But..."

"No. I know he was wearing your father's skin, and played with your mind, but Y/N, don't think of your Father this way. Think of him as the man you knew and loved." Dean tried to reason with you.

"My head knows that it wasn't truly my dad. But my heart? It doesn't listen to reason, and it's what's hurting right now." You mumbled against Dean's chest, his soft and warn flannel rubbing soothingly against your cheek.

"I understand that. Probably more than most people. But just know, I'm right here. By your side. You aren't in this healing process alone."

You started to talk again, but he placed a finger on your lips, effectively stopping you. "No more talk. You're hurt, and until we get back to Cas and get you healed, I want 6lypu to relax."

Too tired to argue, you tried to cuddle closer to him, groaning at the movement. With gentle murmurs, Dean helped you get comfortable, his hand a heavy comfort on your shoulder.

As you slowly drifted to sleep, you couldn't believe that Dean was taking this so well. That he hadn't screamed and yelled at you, mad for believing your Dad. Maybe it was because you were so beat up. Or maybe because he realized you were beating yourself up for it already. But he had been nothing but sweet and kind, and there for you.

"Love you." You muttered, not even realizing the words slipped from your lips as you fell asleep.
___________

"Y/N, we're home." Dean whispered in your ear. "I'm gonna pick you up, but this will probably hurt. I'm so sorry."

Still trying to wake up, you screeched in pain as your body was jostled.  All your cuts and bruises, your entire battered body tensed up as Dean pulled you from the car. Apologizing the entire time, Dean cradled you in his arms. Sam led the way, yelling for Cas as Dean carried you down the hallway.

"Y/N!" Cas exclaimed, seeing you in Dean's arms. 

"Sam, Dean, what happened?" He asked, as Dean pushed past him, heading into his room and gently placing you down on the bed. 

"I decided to wreck the car and kill my Father." You explained. 

Striding over to you, he reached down to press his fingers to your forehead, ready to heal your wounds. Grabbing his wrist, you stopped him, making all three men stare at you in surprise. "Cas, these wounds will heal. I don't want you wasting your powers on me." 

"Bullshit." Dean grumbled, striding forward, his arms crossed across his chest. It was easy to see how annoyed with you he was, but you didn't want to hurt your friend. "Y/N, I agree with Dean. This will not weaken me. You are in pain, and you are my friend. I want to help you."

"And if I don't let you?" You asked, as Dean sat down on the bed next to you, ready to hold you down and force you to get healed. 

"I will knock you out so he can get to it." Dean grumbled, exactly as he expected. Sighing, you released your hold on him, knowing you didn't want to be sore any longer. Castiel's callused fingers were warm and scratchy against your forehead as he pressed down. Warmth filled you, all your aches and pains vanishing. Soon, you felt better than you had before the car wreck, as Cas pulled away.

"See, I told you it wasn't too much." He assured you, and it was true. He didn't seem worn down, or tired from the effort.

"Thank you Cas." You told him, squeezing his hand tightly. "I'm very happy to call you friend."

"As am I." He answered, before moving back to stand next to Sam. 

"Cas, why don't we go get the bags out of the car?" Sam hinted at, and you wanted to thank him. It was time you cleared the air with Dean. There was so much you wanted to say, and you really didn't want an audience when you did it.

"Why? I didn't think you even have time to pack anything before you left." Cas grumbled, once again unable to get the slightest hint.

"Cas, I think what Sam is trying to say is that I would like some time alone with Dean. Please. Then afterwards, maybe we call all go out for dinner." You suggested, watching as he finally understood.

"Or we could order pizza and have a night in." Dean suggested instead. "Sure, Cas healed you, but I still think it would be better for everyone if we stayed in and relaxed."

"I like the sound of that." Sam agreed, before grabbing a hold of Cas' trench coat, pulling him out of the room.

The room was soon filled with an awkward silence. Dean sat next to you, patiently waiting for you to start the conversation. While you sat there, your hands clenched in your lap, as you tried to gather your thoughts. Tried to figure out the best way to apologize to Dean, hoping that when everything was said and done, your relationship with him would be stronger than ever.