Chapter 41

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- 1 Week Later -

Today is my dads funeral. All of us come, including Andrea, Jack (thatsojack), Anthony (lohanthony), and Andrew Lowe. We all wear black, for respect. When we get there I'm already crying. When we walk in I see many military people. I've meant some of them before, which some I don't know. My mother is waiting for me. We  walk arm in arm, looking at the picture collage. People pay their respect and say "sorry for your loss" many times.

Near the end of the ceremony I give a speech about my father. It was very thoughtful, talking about some childhood memories with him, saying some quotes or sayings that he used to say. After the funeral is over, my mother flies back to boring Connecticut. When we get home, I run upstairs, take my formal clothes off and I slip into pajamas, which consist of a tank top and some bed shorts. I crawl in bed, covering my face with the white sheets. I start crying, probably ruining the perfectly clean sheets. I hear footsteps and my door opening. I see light, assuming someone was lifting up the covers. -Sigh- "Oh Beth. Are you okay?" I hear Trevor's voice say. I shake my head and he shouts "Sam!!".

I hear footsteps and some whispering. Sam looks at me. He leaves, and I wonder what he's doing. He comes back with my depression and anxiety pill and a glass of water. I take my pill and cover my face in the sheets again. Sam slips into the sheets with me, and I push over to give him room. He kisses me forehead and says "I love you and I wan you to be okay and not hurting." I smile, thinking of his kind and sweet words. "I love you too." I say kissing his lips. He gets out of the bed and goes back downstairs with Trevor. I go to sleep, trying to get my mind cleared.

I wake up in a pool of sweat. My dream was so scary. I look at my phone, seeing that it was 3:00 in the afternoon. I get up, going to the bathroom. I cut one more time and flush my blades.

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