Chasing Change

It's Complicated

    I wake up in my bed next to Marcus and gaze in his closed eyes. He's looks so peaceful. He wakes up and wraps his arm around me. With his warm loving touch he says

    "I love waking up next to you. I want to do this everyday for the rest of my life" His voice passionate and gently gets my heart racing, despite his bad morning breath. I lean in and kiss him before I get out of bed. I leave the room and head into the shower. As I begin washing I hear the door open and see Marcus walk in.

"Any room in there for another occupant?" Marcus asks

"Yes, come join me" I reply

Marcus undresses and slides open the shower door. He examines my wet body before stepping in. I wrap my arms around his neck as he coats his hands over my butt. As he presses his lips against mine and moves down to my neck. He slowly begins massaging my body with his mouth, moving closer and closer to my special region. Marcus gets on his knees and breathes his warm breath on me. My arousal level accelerates to almost uncontrollable levels.

He stops and stands back up. He caresses my thighs as he grabs them and raises my leg up. Now my arousal is uncontrollable. He places me against a wall as I wrap my legs around him.

As I open my eyes, I see a lot of police and EMT's surrounding my vicinity. Puzzled about what happened I look around to examine the area. I see my car absolutely destroyed. The front part of the car is smashed in, the doors are hanging off. My car, I loved my car. That car represented me and my lifestyle.

I get pushed down against a gurney by an EMT and pushed into the ambulance back doors. As I lay there and see the two EMT's hook an IV up to me. I see all types of tools and equipment everywhere. Scalpels, defibrillators, stethoscopes, and various other tools.

"What happened?" I ask

"You were in a terrible car crash. A suburban truck was driving in the wrong lane which resulted in a head on collision."

"What happened to Marcus? Where is he?" I ask as I attempt to sit up.

The EMT quickly but gently pushes me down on the gurney. "We didn't get a check up on him yet. We'll get one in a short amount of time."

After a 7 minute ride we arrive at the hospital. The back doors open up and I'm pushed out and inside the hospital. As they begin to push me through the hallways, I look around. I don't see many doctors or nurses. I get pushed into a room and they run multiple tests on me. I feel fine though.

"Okay Alize, after running multiple test we have determined that you're going to be okay. You have a few fractured bones and a mild concussion." The doctor says

    "Okay but what about the others?" I ask

    "The driver of the suburban has multiple broken bones and a concussion. And Marcus, is that your husband or your partner?"

    "Yes, I mean no. Huh it's complicated"

    "Marcus' driver side airbag has been removed and his seatbelt was screwed off the hinges. With the lack of safety support he went through the windshield head first where a piece of glass got lodged in his throat. He didn't make it"

After hearing the news of his passing, I don't cry. A matter of fact I don't feel anything, but guilt. Why was his airbag missing? why was his seatbelt unscrewed? If i would've said no when he asked to drive he wouldn't have died. Maybe I shouldn't even have tried to take him out to have fun. I lay down on the hospital bed.

Am I wrong for wanting Marcus to have fun in his life? Am I wrong for taking him out his comfort zone? Maybe I shouldn't even have talked to him in the park that night.

I slowly fall asleep with the bandages and wraps all over me.

"I'm Sorry Marcus"