Focus

Chapter 34: Clear

He pulled away slowly, a worried look plastered on his face. I ran a hand around his jaw and off his chin, trying to sooth him to cause this face he was making to go away.

"What are we doing Andy?" he asked as he gently placed his hand over mine on his cheek. "You're with Louis."

My brown eyes traced his irises like the lines of a book, back and forth in a repeated fashion. "I...." I croaked, letting my gaze wonder to any other place that wasn't his face. "Where is he right now?" I asked just above a whisper.

He drew my hand away from his face and clutched it gently in front of his chest. "I don't think you want me to tell you."

"Harry," I said quietly as I squeezed his hand.

He nodded soundlessly and placed my hand back in my lap, leaning back to normal talking distance. "You..." he trailed off. "You know that I love you, right?"

I hesitated, but nodded after a second.

"I wasn't just saying that to get your attention or to tear you away from Louis. I'm a bad friend to Lou for even telling you that. It wasn't right of me." He dipped his head down to look at his twiddling thumbs. "You and I are a lot more alike than you think." he added. "I love you. I love you enough to not want to tell you where he is, but I also love you enough to tell you what he's doing."

"Then tell me," I whispered.

"Look at me Andy," he demanded softly. When I didn't, he pushed my chin up to face him with two long fingers. His eyes poured into me like running water as he spoke. "He was devastated when you turned him down. He cried, ate, skipped out on a few writing sessions, skipped two rehersals, and worse of all he started drinking.... bad."

"He told me that he was drinking," I assured. "But he didn't say how much," I added.

"He's an alcoholic, Andrea."

I tensed.

"I drove him to drink?" I asked, dumbfounded.

"In a sense," he sighed. "It wasn't you, It was your answer."

"But, we had only known each other for like three months, we still have our whole lives ahead of us, I'm still not done living my single life, marriage means giving your all for your partner, I wasn't ready," I listed in a panic.

He hushed me. "Shh, shh, I understand that. I tried to explain that to him." He ran a large hand through his hair and continued. "I need to ask you a question."

"Go ahead,"

He locked his eyes on mine and asked slowly, "Do you love Louis Tomlinson?"

I dipped my head down, my mind becoming heavy with thoughts. "I... don't." I replied after a moment.

"Yes you do." he countered. "If you didn't love him, you wouldn't have had that mental breakdown earlier. You wouldn't want to know where he is right now. Andrea Renee Mays, you love Louis Tomlinson."

All of the thoughts that had clouded my brain on the way here suddenly lifted. I had to say it myself. "I love Louis Tomlinson."

Harry looked down, but with a small smile, like he was sad that I didn't love him as much as Louis, but he was happy all the same. He looked up at me with a grin and added assuringly, "And if things don't work out with Louis... I'm always here for you... as a friend, a shoulder to cry on, a boyfriend, or even a friend with benefits if you really need it."

I smiled with teary eyes and dived in for a hug. "Thank you," I whispered into his shoulder.

We both pulled away from the hug and he announced, "Okay, he's probably at the bar down town drinking his sorrows away."

"Thank you, Harry," I breathed. My feet were anxious and needed to be running to my car, so I hopped up from the couch and started to walk to the front door... but then I looked back at the guy sitting on the sofa with a fake smile placed on his face. I couldn't leave him here just like that.

I turned back to him and quickly pecked his cheek with a swift kiss. His face lit up and it felt like I was free to go without any regrets.

"I love you," he whispered as I left.

As much as I was conflicted with my feelings toward Harry, I assured him, "I love you too."

~

The bar was warm with all of the extra sweaty people (mostly guys) and smelled of alcohol, as you would expect. I had never walked into a bar before... It was strange.

I scanned the bar area for shaggy brown hair and a nice bum, eventually finding a figure that fit the description passed out asleep on the counter, grasping a full shot glass in his right hand.

I shook his shoulder lightly.

"Hmmpf," he grunted as he rolled open his heavy eyes with a deep ring of purple under each. "Whaaa...." he breathed as he wiped his eyes and rubbed his face slowly. His dead looking eyes slowly traced up my arm and landed on my face where I wore a deep frown.

I had caused this.

"Andy?" he questioned with wide eyes. Suddenly he was more awake than before. "Andy what are you doing here? It's dangerous,"

"Not as dangerous as what you're doing to yourself," I stated as I took the seat next to him. "Is this the errand that you told Liam about?"

He cast his gaze down to his shot glass with sad eyes. "You knew about that, huh?"

"Liam said you had some things to do, but he didn't mention this," I said motioning around to the rest of the bar.

"I'm sorry," he whispered. The music was too loud, so I had to read his lips.

"We should go, Louis," I ushered as he eyed his shot hungrily.

He gave his tiny cup one last glance and nodded his head. I looped my arm around him for support. He was obviously woozy.

Somehow we made it to my car and got situated in our designated seats, safely buckled in and whatnot. I played the radio softly in fear that it would give him a headache from the alcohol.

"How are you feeling?" I asked as I pulled out of the parking lot.

He tilted his head to the side while looking at me. "You're real pretty..." he slurred.

"What?" I questioned.

"You're pretty... you have nice lips..." he commented as he reached across the center council to touch my bottom lip like a child reaching out to grab a toy.

"Louis, you're drunk." I reminded him.

"Yeah, no shit. I've been drinking since yesterday, cutie."

"Cutie?" I asked.

"You're cute, so I'm gonna call ya' cutie, alright cutie?"

Just as one of their songs began to play on the radio, Louis jumped around in his seat. "OH MY GOD! IT'S MY BAND! LOOK CUTIE IT'S MY BAND ON THE RADIO!" and then proceeded to sing every line.

This was going to be a long car ride home.