Chapter Twenty-Two

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"He what?" Sam bellowed, crossing over to Elton and I. My head fell, and my eyes glued to the ground. Tears escaped my eyes from time to time, slipped down my cheeks and plummeted to the tile floor. "Well, are you alright?" he asked. I felt his eyes search my body for any physical damages, but there was nothing there except my slightly stretched out tank top and some untied pajama pants. The real damage was internal. I felt unbelievably disgusting and guilty.

As I thought about his question, I began to shake again, the tears falling more rapidly than before. I simply shook my head no, then let myself begin to sob. All of the guys came over, trying to calm me down. "Come on." Elton whispered. "Let's go get you a glass of water." My body was so tense that I began to hiccup, so I reluctantly agreed. We moved into the kitchen and Sam forced me to take a seat at the table next to the counter. Corey brought over a small Disney cup that was filled with water and placed it on the table next to me. I thanked him and placed my head in my folded arms.

All of the guys huddled in the corner of the kitchen, and began to whisper. I decided then, that all of them sucked at whispering.

"That Jacob is a dick."

"I oughta kill that boy."

"Yeah, and to think, I thought he was nice!"

"Guys, stop! What are we going to do about Kate? I'm worried."

Then everything went silent. I couldn't hear them very well before, but I really couldn't hear them now. I lifted my head up, and looked over to find that all of them were staring at me, with sympathetic looks on their faces.

"Guys. I'm fine!" I huffed, standing up as my legs sent the chair sliding backwards. "Look, I hardly wanted Elton to know, let alone the entire house, for this reason. I don't want you all pitying me. I'm a big girl, I dealt with the situation and now I'm home, and out of harm's way. I'm not dead, he didn't actually rape me, I. Am. Fine." I growled before dragging my hands down my face in frustration.

I darted up the stairs, leaving the boys downstairs. I plopped down onto the white bean bag chair that sat in the loft, where I sat on my first day in LA. I knew I was lying to them, and to myself. I wasn't fine; I was terrified. I didn't know how I was going to go to school on Monday and face the guy who tried to steal my virginity, or how I was going to make it through the ridicule without Jacob there to protect me. I knew that the last chunk of my senior year was going to be absolute torture, and I had no clue how I was going to cope.

Gym Shoes pounded up the wooden stairs, and Colby emerged out of the 3AM darkness of the stair well. "Hey." He breathed as he fell back into the beanbag next to mine.

"Hi."

Colby pursed his lips slightly, then tilted his chin up. I looked at him with curiosity, the different things he could've said playing through my mind. His lips parted, as If he were about to speak, but he only let out a slight groan of unsureness.

Then, He began again. His lips parted and this time (thankfully) words actually came out of his mouth. "Look, Katelin, I know you're going through alot right now. I know you hate school, and you miss home and you hate the lack of privacy you have here and so on, but the guys and I, we don't get all up in your business because we want the hot, juicy gossip...Okay, well sometimes we do, but not when it's something serious like this." he chuckled. Tears began to sting at the corners of my eyes. "Anyway, I just want you to know, that I don't think that anyone has ever made an impact on these boys as much as you have in the past five months. You're like the little sister none of us ever had...and just as annoying." He smirked. "I've known Sam since we were itty bitty freshman and no girl has ever made him go as crazy as you do." This of course made me smile, "And, Elton, Holy Crap! I didn't even know there was another side to him than the adventurous, crazy side until you came along and suddenly he's all loving and...squishy. Oh, and Thank God Corey has someone else to watch Spongebob with so he doesn't have to ask Colby or I, because you know he won't watch it alone and sometimes I just don't want to watch SpongeBob." He finished, then took a deep breath. "Anyway, my point is, that you've brought good things out of each of us and we, you know, love you so that's why we can be a little nosy from time to time and we're not going to change, so get used to it."
I smirked at Colby with raised eyebrows, "aww, that was cute."

He stared at me for a moment, then shook his head with a chuckle. I watched as he pushed himself up from the bean bag and took a few strides towards the stairs.

"Hey, Colby?"

He turned to face me.

"Thanks." I said genuinely. He nodded with a smile and headed down the stairs.

I, too, got up from the beanbag, heading for the shower.

-

I fell onto my bed, hair wrapped in a pink towel and a sports bra and spandex on. The time was almost 5 in the morning, so the slightest glints of sun peeked up over the east side of town and lit my room in a purpley-blue color. The house was so quiet that the only thing you could hear was the lousy airconditioner clicking on and off every ten minutes. The rest of the house was asleep, but I stared up at my ceiling as the events from the day played through my mind. The more I thought about it, the more I felt a 'Self-Revelation' happening.

When I thought about it, I had changed an awful lot since I moved here, and I didn't like it. I was so outgoing and part of the family now, but I was old news, whereas before I was a quiet little girl who was new to LA and everyone loved. Everyone just expected me to be there now, but I liked being wanted instead of expected.

I was such a quiet person before, almost afraid of my own shadow but now my shadow is afraid of me. I felt so out of place because I was in a place all the time, and I wanted it to change. I thought about it for a while: How could I get that wantedness back?

Finally, after staying up until 8 AM, I decided that all I had to do was go back to acting the way I did before, then they'd need me again. I had a plan, and the first thing on it was to sleep, so that's what I did.

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