"so. you and sara?" I asked ian, groping my pocket for my block.
"Sara and I." he repeated.
"when-"
"you knew we started talking after that party, I don't know why you're just now figuring it out." he acted like I was the idiot.
i looked at him with concern, "the party was on Saturday. it's Wednesday." I opened the pack and fidgeted for a cigarette.
"so what?" he questioned, his eyes following my hands.
i brought a cigarette to my lips.
"you just met her, how was I supposed to assume you were fucking? I've never seen a girl jump that quick into your pants." I smirked and teethed the cigarette.
"whatever. your newest victim should be here any minute now."
"my what?"
"your toy."
"she's not a toy, ian. that's a little disrespectful don't you think?" I picked up the yellow lighter on the coffee table between us and examined it before lifting it to the tip of my cigarette.
"well you know what I think, grant?"
i paused and glanced up at him.
"i think it's disrespectful that you're choosing to smoke a death stick right in front of my face." he crossed his arms like a little kid.
rolling my eyes, I tossed the lighter along with the cigarette onto the coffee table.
"sorry." I said sarcastically and sat back on the worn, black leather couch, flipping my phone in my lap in silence for a few minutes while I watched ian cluelessly try to solve a rubix cube.
a knock at the basement door startled us both.
Ian shot up, dropping his rubix cube and imediately trotted up the stairs to the door. I quickly grabbed the cigarettes and hid them under the couch.
i pretended to be scrolling through instagram as I heard Ian and katies' footsteps come down the stairs.
holding my breath, I turned and looked at Katie as she came around the couch with ian. our eyes met and we both smiled, although she looked away just as soon.
Ian sat himself across from me again in the greenish yellow fabric armchair with cigarette burns in the arms, rubbing his hands together lile he was about to eat a whole buffet. I moved over a cushion so Katie could sit. she delicately plopped down on the cushion farthest from me.
i stared at the rubix cube on the floor under the coffee table. it laughed at me.
"so?" Ian prompted and leaned forward with his elbows on his knees.
"what?" Katie and I said simultaneously.
"is anyone going to say anything?" Ian gestured to both of us, an expecting expression on his face.
an awkward silence fell over the three of us, Katie sat uncomfortably and Ian looked impatient. I nervously traced the lining of my sweater sleeve, trying to find words. "no one's going to get here until at least 9." I managed to say after a few moments of more deadly silence, pulling out my phone. "it's 7:37." I sighed and pocketed my phone, kicking my feet up on the coffee table. I was trying to look relaxed but probably just looked retarded.
Ian stood up and walked around the table to the couch and sat between Katie and i.
"maybe if I sit here it won't be so awkward for you two love birds, huh?" he teased and flipped the bill of my hat over my head.
i glared at him, "we aren't love birds."
"your kids would be so cute!" he smirked, looking from me to katie.
giving Katie a look, I reached around the back of Ian's head and covered his mouth.
as if he wasn't already doing the most, he began making thrusting motions and moaned through my hand. with a repulsed reaction, I quickly scooted to the edge of the couch, "ew."
Katie covered her mouth trying to hold back laughter. I couldn't tell if she was laughing at Ian or with him. or maybe she was laughing at how fucking awkward and embarrassing this was. an instinct.
"oh come on g, don't act like a virgin." he continued his shenanigans.
"can you be mature?" I got up from the couch and took a seat in Ian's druglord chair.
"whatever, you're no fun. I'm gonna raid the kitchen." Ian parted himself from the couch and stretched. "you coming katie?"
"sure," she hopped up and they left up the stairs to the kitchen.
i ran my hand through my hair, closing my eyes and letting out an elongated sigh.
"I called you 13 times in the last 4 hours, why didn't you pick up?"
"I'm sorry."
"you're sorry? you should be more than sorry. you can't make any excuses this time."
"I'm sorry."
"who were you with?"
"I'm sorry."
"no you're not."
sorry.
"Grant,"
"yeah?"
"you good boss?" Ian questioned and lifted my eyelid.
"yes I'm fine- don't touch me." I swatted his clamy hands away from my face.
he shrugged at katie and threw himself onto the couch.
sitting up, I found Katie and the infamous fuckboy stuffing their faces with hot cheetos. I checked the time on my phone and rubbed my eyes.
"any second now until people start showing up," ian threw his Cheetos in the air like fall leaves and suddenly screeched at the top of his lungs, "IT'S PARTY TIME BITCHES!!1!1"
***
i gently ran my finger tips along the outline of katies face as she was laid down on top of me. I hugged my arm around her torso and she buried her face in my chest. the tv flashed no signal. closing my eyes, i was comforted by the muffled music upstairs, occasional creaking of footsteps above us and the inaudible sound of conversations carried with the music. i was too nervous to move or make a sound, but I was extremely uncomfortable in that position. in fact, I wasn't sure how we got to this position.
i tried to listen closely to the pattern of katies breathing. I couldn't tell if she was asleep or if she was just a loud breather.
it was crazy to think this was the closest we've ever been. we seldom saw each other in person and when we hung out there wouldn't be much talking, just sitting in silence or walking around at night when few could see us. most people could say our "dates" were boring but just laying together and listening to music was all i wanted to do sometimes.
i told my friends differently, though. I told them lies. lies that I could never let Katie hear about.
they had a totally different idea about Katie and I, and at the time I didn't care because I didn't think she'd stay around long enough for them to find anything out anyway. they always run.
but she was different.
very different.
the party went on without us.
