"this better be quick." I regarded under my breath.
after i had dropped the boys off, I pulled up next to katie's driveway. I shifted the car into park and watched the door, tapping the steering wheel. she was supposed to come right out to the car. before we did anything together we would plan every single detail, mostly at the grip of my anxiety. after at least two minutes of waiting for her, I hesitated to honk. i was too paranoid to draw any attention to myself so I sunk back into my seat and tried to wait patiently, although the anticipation was making me feel even more anxious.
i looked over and noticed the blue notebook sitting in the passenger seat. my eyes widened and I quickly shoved it into the glove compartment. I didn't remember taking it out of my room? I shook it off and looked straight ahead, hoping another damn fawn wouldn't cross my vision.
i felt something stir in my gut.
"why so down?"
"I don't know. everything is going by so fast that I can't comprehend anything anymore."
"time goes on without you when you're sad."
"I'm not sad, I'm stressed out."
"stressed out about what?"
"I did something and it just won't get out of my fucking head."
"guilt?"
"can we talk about something else please?"
"who was she?"
Katie knocked on the passenger side window and tugged on the door handle.
i reached over and my fingers scrambled for the controls on the door to unlock it.
she opened the door and dipped her head in, throwing a bag into the back seat before stepping into the vehicle.
"what took you so long?" I asked and sat up.
"my mom wanted me to straighten up my room before I left. I was only in there for three minutes, it's fine."
"it's not fine, you know what just a few minutes can do to me." I sighed. "so what's that?" I nodded toward the bag.
"my clothes for tomorrow." she replied, fastening her seatbelt.
"uh, excuse me?"
she paused and looked at me in confusion, "I thought I was staying the night?"
"I mean I don't remember discussing that but sure whatever works for you." I said and reached over to pat her knee. she grabbed my hand before I could pull it away and linked our fingers together. we looked at each other as if on cue. we were both awkwardly blushing.
"um, I kinda need my hand now." I laughed nervously and parted my hand from hers.
"oops." she drew her hand back and held it in her lap.
I leaned over the console to kiss her cheek, but she pushed my face away.
"can we just go?"
without saying anything, I pulled back out onto the road towards home.
