👻 chapter ㅡ f i v e 👻

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I thought Hyunggu wouldn't want me to see him at whichever state he's in after what he heard so I sat outside his room, on the floor and waited. I wasn't sure what I was waiting for, but when he came out for dinner, I felt a strange relief.

He walked to the dining room as if he didn't see me and when he smiled at his mom, it's as if he didn't hear anything earlier. "I cooked your favorite!—to celebrate the success of your first day." She said, smiling.

I sat on one of the chairs.

Hyunggu tried his best not to look at me. I looked at the food served. So, his favorites are mandu and bulgogi. I stared sadly at the food. I wish I could miss a taste or a memory, but I have nothing. Hyunggu cleared his throat, looking at me.

"Where's dad?" he asked his mom.

"Oh," his mom stopped for a short moment before saying, "He's... tired from work. He went to bed early."

"He's drunk again, isn't he?"

His mom's chopsticks hang in the air. "Kino—he's trying."

"Don't lie to me." Hyunggu said so quietly and coldly. I didn't know he could speak way colder than the way he talked to me.

"I'm sorry." His mom said sadly, then tried to brighten up the mood. "But—look at the bright side! You gained friends today at the new school!"

"Yeah, it only takes a matter of time before they realize I'm a freak." he said, looking pointedly at me.

"Oh, Hyunggu..." his mom said. "Don't say that. You are not a freak."

"Am I not? Is that why you keep on having me treated by psychologists?"

His mother swallowed. "It's... for your own good."

Hyunggu put down his chopsticks. "Like everybody else, you think I'm sick too." he said and stormed off.

"Kino!" his mother called but he didn't come back.
I'm so lost.

I'm in a place other than school, but it doesn't feel any better. After Hyunggu left dinner, I went back to the garden because it's the only beautiful place I've seen in a long time. I couldn't stop thinking about Kang Hyunggu. His parents know that he can see ghosts—but they do not believe him, that's for sure. Is that why he left his previous school too? I wondered a lot but I would never ask.

After today though, I realized how nice it was to talk to somebody—and be seen by somebody. It feels a little less lonely. If only he was nice to me.

I looked at the moon glowing so bright over the night sky. How am I supposed to find myself? If my body is still breathing somewhere, how do I find it?

"Aren't you going to sleep?"

I turned to see Hyunggu in his pj's and messy hair. He looked so sleepy and yet when I asked him, "Ghosts do not sleep. What are you doing here?" he shifted uncomfortably and said, "I couldn't sleep."

I almost laughed when I heard his stomach grumble. "Are you hungry?" I asked.

"Starving." He said.

"Then eat. Your mom left them on the table covered."

When he went to the dining room, I followed him. We were quiet. Either because he doesn't want to be heard talking to me, or he doesn't want to get caught eating in the middle of the night. He grabbed some food and went back to his room. I followed.

"What do you eat?" he asked.

"I don't eat."

His eyes widened. "Figured."

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