From hate, to Lust to Love

19 I think I am in love

Robert tries his best to keep his hands from me. But every now and then, he just ask me to hold my hand. Occasionally when he is a bad mood, sometimes unexpectedly he would kiss me on my forehead.

Life was good, Alhamdulillah. He is kind of settling down. His bitterness is slipping away. And if I can just convince him to live a happy life with no baggage from the past, I can be truly glad one day, when I have to leave this house.

I was looking from the balcony expecting Robert to come in any time. I saw his Mercedes but I knew something is wrong. He parked the car outside and came literally running towards the house. I went down. Something is really really wrong.

He had a magazine in his hand. He came to me, and hugged me tightly. Oh, this has to be really bad. He is shaking with anger. I involuntarily put my hands around him. 

"It's okay. I am here" he tried to break free. No he need time to cool down. I hugged him back and held him. He is struggling to hold back. What has happen.

"I am so sorry Ami"

"Shhh.... I am here. Whatever it is, I am here. Just calm down" it took me about 5 mins to really calm him down.

"Come, I'll make you coffee and we will talk"

"No, I want to talk to you now"

"Okay, come with me. I will get you the coffee while you tell me what happened"

I made him the coffee while he held the magazine. I know Helen would have written something nasty. But that can wait.

With coffee in hand, we went a cozy little living room right next to he library. He then handed me the magazine.

I read the headline. The small world I been trying to build, crumble right under my feet. The headline said "Tech Giant Robert dates Porn star Amira"

No, I will not read the article. The headline is bad enough. Robert was watching him.

"You will speak to my lawyer. You will sue me for hacking your devices and using the pictures after editing. Then you will sue this magazine and Helen for character assassination" he said finally.

"I will not take that path. I will never do anything to hurt you. I think my stay here has come to an end. I am not sure how our neighbors will respond after this articles. Don't worry. Just forget about it. With time everyone will forget this rumor. I will be okay. I can find a job very soon. And with the money I have, I can manage for a month" I told assured him. My time has really come to an end. I cant stay here and be subjected to insults and pity from others. I can go. Robert deserves at least that much to start a new life.  

"You will not go anywhere. You will do just what I said. Helen will pay for what she did"

"See, this is exactly the situation I am trying to avoid. Please, listen to me. I am not abandoning you. You can meet me or speak to me any time you want. I will be there for you. But I must go. I have to do it for your sake and for my sake. You have to promise me, that you will let this go"

"Not as long as I am alive"

That tone is what I hate most. That determined tone which means he will go to any extreme.

"Okay. Now whose fault my pics where online? Whose fault that they are calling me something that is made up? You did all that. Now someone is using the same thing you created against you and me. Is it their fault? My face was there in all that nasty sites. Once you do something like that, you cant take it back. So, you don't have the right to be angry. I forgive you. And I forgive anyone who used what you created to attack me"

"Punish me then. Do something, damn it. Don't sit there and forgive me. Hurt me. Try to destroy me. I will even let you do it" he said while I could feel his voice is breaking.

I reached him. He pushed me away. He looks very vulnerable. I just still reached him while he try to struggle and push me away. Then I know what I am doing is wrong, but I will do this one more time, before I walk out. I took his face from both my arms and kissed him tenderly on his lips. He was struggling. I know, but he kissed me back with anger, sadness and regret.

It was not easy to let go of him. I think I am in love with him. But I have to be right by him. Then I end the kiss.

"I will pack my things. I will leave tomorrow morning"