From hate, to Lust to Love

20 Marry me

"You will not leave me ever again. If you do, you take a gun, shoot me, and then go. That's a merciful death to me than lingering long and destroying myself. Marry me and stay with me" I told her.

She was suddenly in my arms. And I kissed her over and over again, until I can feel reason leaving me. No, I need this touch. I need this healing. I want Amira not for today  and tomorrow but forever.

She clung to me while I was kissing her madly. Then after a while she broke the kiss as always she does when she knows things might go little further than kissing and buried her face in my chest.

"My love, I cant leave it. I cant let anyone hurt you. Help me to do something"

"I will speak to your lawyers and draft a letter to tell the porn sites, my pics were edited. I will give them an option to take it down or face legal charges. You will stay away from this. Can you do that?"

"I cant. I will give a press conference and let them know I am behind it"

"You will not do any such things"

"I have the original pics which were edited. I will tell them if the magazine doesn't apologize for what they did, I have no option but to sue them for something they cant afford to lose. They have to print a formal apology in the next edition" she was determined.

"We will visit the mosque close by, and without any documentation, will get a nikkah done. So you aren't legally obliged to me for anything. Then I will be with you as long as you want. And you can have me as long as you want" she said in a tone of ultimate scarifies.

"I will marry you with dignity and honor. I will not lose you now nor ever. I am so damned in love with you. You will stay with me and whatever you  do, I will be with you. If you don't get the magazine to apologize in next weeks edition, I will shut them down and sue everyone of them"

"No more revenge"

"I feel quite ashamed of what I have done. My children will hate me as much as I hate myself for doing this to their mother" I know it is true.

She kissed me tenderly when I mentioned kids. And again, I lost track of time and started to kiss her passionately. I want to feel her but I held on. I will do right by Amira as I love her that much.

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I was hurt but this is life. I have to move on. I am having second thoughts now on marrying Robert as his nature is so volatile. He can be gentle and loving one moment and ruthless and cruel the next. However, though he kept on insisting we do the nikkah the following day, and then a ceremony within the month, I wanted to wait until I sort out this mess.

Roberts lawyers were very helpful in dealing with this situation. They made legal documents which were sent to the magazine. I excluded Helen from it as the magazine will deal with her. I don't want her negativity. It took about 2 weeks to get everything in order. At them meantime, Robert was able to take the video of the event Helen came storming in and threatening, and handed it over to the police and upload another to the youtube. Though I was not in favor of such actions, what Robert and June said made sense. People must know what happened.

The 3rd week I got a formal apology from the magazine for causing embarrassment and further explaining how Helen paid them to do this work. They also acknowledge my pics where fake and photoshoped.

Alhamdulillah...

"Now can we get married? You are really trying my patience my love" Robert asked when we were relaxing after dinner.

"I need one more thing. And then we are good to go" I told him.

"And what is that?"

"I want an invitation to my parents and your grandparents sent. I know they will not attend but that's okay. But least we will go and give them the invitation" I told Robert trying to snuggle little closer. Its really cold outside. He put his arms around me.

"Our children at least has a right to a family. You and me didn't have what we want. But our children should have the right to choose"

"Can we first finish the Nikkah? I spoke to the local masjid imam. I really like him. Now if I can choose a father, he will be ideal"

"Is that why recently I felt like you were sneaking on me?"

"Don't lie. You didn't feel a thing" he said with a chuckle. It's true, I didn't.

"Baby, please. I will ask him to come over this Thursday, which he said is a good day to do Nikkah. And then we will have function with friends and family next week. I am just tired and don't want to wait anymore. It is a torture not to have my way with you"

"Okay. If I agree for the Nikkah this Thursday, can you agree to visit our pasts together to make peace with it?"

"You will not let go of this. Will you? Okay. Agreed"

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Thursday is day after tomorrow. I called Imaam Hassan who is in charge of the local masjid. I love the masjid. It is a place where I am feel at peace and a place where I just sit and contemplate. I don't get bullied or harassed. All the brothers who come there seems to be kind and loving. What Amira doesn't know is I been talking to the Imaam about my anger issues and family for over a week now.

His influence along with Amira's is making me see things I was unable see before.

I called the Imaam and asked him to come Thursday to my house. I also asked some of the Muslims brothers with whom I have been interacting recently also to join us at home for dinner. A small crowd of 20 people were to come today after sun set. Amira refused to let me order food. She look care of the food splendidly. And after the religious ceremony, after the guest went I waited for my wife what seems like an eternity in the room.