Always You

xxvii. Conversation

Elsa

 I was an aunt. Seeing Kristoff hold the tiny pink bundle in his arms made me well up with happiness and anxiety, fear and pride. There were so many emotions at once and it was a mess that I didn't have the energy or patience to sort through. Mostly, I was worried. I just wanted to know how Anna was, wanted to see her eyes light up as she he;d her little girl for the first time. I just wanted her to be okay.

Sensing my anxiety, Jack grabbed my hand. Our cool fingers laced together and he rubbed the pad of his thumb across the back of mine. I leaned my head into his shoulder, a strange urge to cry coming over me. I should be ecstatic that my niece was okay, excited for the years to come, but all I could think about was Anna and if she was okay. Until I knew the answer to that question, it was as if the baby weren't even important. I sniffed, tears brimming in my eyes but reluctant to spill over. I didn't want to seem weak or let on how scared I really was.

"She'll be okay, right?" I asked him, my voice small and hollow. I didn't know what I wanted him to say; I knew he couldn't tell me what would happen, but I just wanted his comfort even if it came in the form of empty promises.

"Of course she will," He assured me, squeezing his lanky arm around my body as I sighed. I couldn't believe his sincere tone even when he was just trying to make me feel better. I felt like a total jerk for begging for his comfort and then rejecting it when he gave it to me. Still, all I wanted was Anna.

"Elsa?" Kristoff asked, walking back out to us with the little girl still in his arms. There was a change in his demeanor now, making him more protective and cautious at the same time. I had a feeling he would be holding onto that baby until Anna woke up.

"Yes?" I asked, straightening my back and clearing my throat. I wanted to comfort him, knew he would need me to, but I also knew he wouldn't accept it, either. We were a lot like each other in that respect, we didn't like to show our feelings or accept any kind of attention we didn't feel we needed. We preferred to stay under the radar.

"Anna is awake now... Do you want to-" I rushed into the room before he could finish his sentence, my tears finally spilling as I wrapped my arms around my pale sister. She hugged me back weakly, breathing shallowly as I pulled away. She gave me a fragile smile. 

"How do you feel?" I asked her, whispering in wake of her sickness. She nodded slowly.

"I feel pretty terrible in general, but I'm pretty fantastic." She answered as she motioned to the bundle in her arms that I hadn't noticed before. The baby was asleep, her small face red from her struggle into life. Her head was covered in a downy blonde layer of hair and she had a small cover of freckles already. I could already guess that her eyes were blue like Anna's. "Eleanor Kristina Bjorgman." She whispered, her eyes brimming with happy tears.

"She's so beautiful, Anna. So, so beautiful." I looked at the little baby, love swelling in my heart.

"Do you want to hold her?" Anna asked, moving the baby so I could take her into my arms. The second the soft burden was placed in my arms, I melted, staring intently at the tiny thing in my arms. The love I had for her was instantaneous, the need to protect her so strong. I was so in love with her.

"Oh," I murmured, smiling as Eleanor stirred in my arms and cooed. I placed my finger in her hand, the small digits reflexively closing in a vise around my nail.

Jack

Elsa was desperate, terrified, and trying to conceal it. I could see right through it, but I was helpless to comfort her. I didn't know what to do or say and I was still pretty bad in social situations. Kristoff was holding the baby like it was fragile and practically radiating his refusal to allow her to leave his arms. I didn't know what to do; when Elsa went into Anna's room, I remained in the hallway. I paced back and forth, crossed and uncrossed my arms, did anything I could to distract myself from thinking about it. I really hoped Anna would be okay, not only because it would kill Elsa if she was hurt, but because Anna was genuinely a good person. She was sweet and caring and she didn't deserve a lot of the issues she had to face.

I continued to sit, left to stew in my own thoughts, as Elsa did whatever she was doing in Anna's room. I thought a lot, at times like this, of my own sister. Had she grown up to have her own children? Did she name them after me? Had she missed me all those years, knowing I had died for her? How had my parents reacted to my death? There were a million questions I had, but no one who could answer them. It had been 300 years since Jack Overland had died and 300 years since Jack Frost had been born. 

Being Jack Frost wasn't, I reluctantly admit, always snowballs and fun times. There was a lot of work in bringing winter to the whole world, perfecting the amount of snow to dump everywhere and make sure things didn't get too bad. Of course there were times when things went a little haywire; the blizzard of'68, for example. All in all, though, things were under control. 

I wondered what the guardians were doing right now. They could be doing anything, really, all in their separate living places. North was likely inventing some new kind of toy, Tooth flitting around as she instructed her fairies where to go, Sandy was putting happy dreams into the minds of children, and Bunny was probably working on his boomerang skills even though they were already perfect. It was strange to think of them like that, so objectively. I missed being around them, but I was left with two worlds I was stuck in between. Part of me longed to stay with the Guardians and be who I was meant to be, but another part of me wanted to stay with Elsa and get married and be together forever.

Elsa and I... We could do it. I could see it all in my head; the wedding, two or three beautiful little white haired children, the perfect life. I knew it wouldn't be allowed and that I wouldn't always be there to see important things in my children's lives, but I wanted Elsa. It seemed crazy for me to have fallen for her so quickly, but I had. I loved her and I knew there was no other girl for me. Oddly enough, that hadn't been my intention when I had set out to look for her. Still, I was glad it had worked out that way.

"Jack," Elsa called, shaking me from my thoughts.

"Yeah?" I asked her, walking closer to her.

"We need to talk," She answered, leading me towards her room.