Always You

xxviii. What Now?

Anna

Eleanor Kristina Bjorgman was the most perfect human being I had ever laid eyes on. She was beautiful, her hair a wispy gold and her eyes a chillingly ice blue. She smiled as I held her, tears falling from my eyes onto her tightly wrapped little blanket. Her small, soft fingers wrapped completely around one of mine, and I could hardly take my eyes off of her. I had never felt love so strong, so quickly. There was nothing in the world that I would not do for this little girl, nothing at all. Kristoff sat next to me, arm wrapped round my shoulders. I could barely talk, still weak from the strain of giving birth, but we didn't need to. The way we stared at her said it all. My love for Kristoff seemed to have doubled as well, making my heart feel full to bursting with the affection I held for the two people in the room with me. I longed for my parents to be alive. I knew they would love her, from her teeny tiny button nose to the perfect little fingernails on each of her hands. She was crafted from the most amazing things and brought together by nothing more than true love. I never wanted her to leave my arms.

The next few days were a blur, a bustle of people in and out, checking on Eleanor and myself and making sure we were okay. I didn't know how, but I knew that we were going to be fine. I had always felt that the two of us were bonded unbreakably, and that we would do amazing things together. I couldn't wait for her to get a little bigger, to teach her to walk in my mother's library and to hear her small hands opening and closing children's books. Every part of me yearned for her to have a playmate, a sister, to grow up with in the normal way. I wanted her to have everything I hadn't and I wanted her to be happy.

Her nursery was beautiful, of course. The walls were painted a fittingly pale shade of pink, aptly called ice berry, and they seemed to shine in the light from the open window. Her crib was specially made and padded, complete with a canopy that was fit for a princess. There were toys and gifts everywhere, a perk of being the Queen's niece. There was a dark wood rocking chair in which I promptly sat, lulling Eleanor to sleep with my gentle movement and quiet singing. Kristoff watched us from the doorway, eyes shining with pride and love. I never thought things could be so perfect, though I realized I said that a lot.

"You did great," Kristoff told me, motioning to the sleeping bundle in my arms. I passed her to him, knowing he wanted to hold her as much as I did. 

"You did pretty fabulous, too," I told him, smiling a little as I watched him gently sway with her. He looked so natural, which I'll admit was a shock. It seemed like he had been doing this for years rather than less than a week, and it warmed my heart to think of what a great father he would be.

"She's just so perfect," He whispered, staring down at his daughter. He looked so proud of her and my heart soared at the expression.

"I know, I never knew how much I would love her," I admitted, and he nodded. They say when a baby is born so are the parents, and I finally understood that saying.

Kristoff

As I'd promised the doctor, I spent a lot of time just watching Anna and Eleanor. To everyone's surprise, they were both healthy and happy. Not even a hair was out of place and Anna was taking motherhood extremely well. It didn't hurt that Eleanor was a perfect baby. She hardly cried, ate right on time, and slept through the night from day one. It seemed completely impossible, but it was one hundred percent true. She was a miracle baby, through and through.

Elsa and Jack did their best to help out, but Anna really wanted nothing more than Eleanor. She was content to hold her and stare at her for hours, humming and singing to her as she rocked in the chair I had handcrafted. I had meant it as a surprise for the baby shower, but Eleanor had come before the date arrived and so I had just put it in the nursery without ceremony. Still, just as I expected, Anna loved it. 

Looking at Eleanor incited a feeling within me that was unlike any other I had ever experienced. I was so proud to have helped make her, so happy sh was okay, so overcome with complete love for this little bundle of pink blankets and blue eyes that I didn't know what to do with myself. It seemed, also, that my love for Anna had grown. As I watched her with our daughter all I could think about was how much I love the two of them and how much they meant to me. It was crazy how quickly and how radically my life had changed for the better and I wouldn't have traded a second of it. 

Still, I couldn't help but wonder what would come next. Would there be more children? A wedding for Elsa and Jack? Would Hans return to start more trouble? All of these questions and more constantly circled through my head and made me dizzy. There was no way for me to answer them, no way for me to even anticipate things. I didn't want to think too far ahead of myself for now, I just wanted to savor the little girl in my arms. A part of my longed for her to be old enough to do things with, but a bigger part of me wanted her to stay small and snuggly for the rest of our lives. It was a strange feeling but not unpleasant. All I wanted was to stay in this time period, the calm after the storm, and stay there forever. I wanted to be with Anna and Eleanor and be perfectly happy and at peace with things just the way we were now. Every part of me begged for it to be so, but I knew that was very rarely the case, especially with us.