xxxiii. Mistakes

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Elsa

"Anna! Anna!" I called, bursting into her room with no regards to the baby in her arms. She jumped when she saw me, but her face split into a happy smile nonetheless. 

"Oh, Elsa, you wouldn't believe-" She spoke, relief in her voice. Her hair was wet, and I assumed she had taken a bath like she usually did. Something about her was different, happier, a little less like the scared girl I had been seeing around for too long. I was so glad to have her back.

"No, Anna, you wouldn't believe what I'm going to say. I'm the library-" This time she cut me off, nodding so quickly I was surprised her head didn't snap off.

"It was mom!" She cried, "But it wasn't mom it was something else and I know about the piano, Elsa, and it's not dad, it's not." She urged me. I looked at her, my veins seeming to fill with ice. Not our parents? Well, if it wasn't our parents, what could it be? "I don't know what it was, something evil. It's gone now, though, if we don't give it any power it's not going to do anything. We'll be fine." She assured me and I nodded slowly as it all sunk in. It seemed impossible but so possible at the same time. Some evil something searching for secrets and feeding off our hope... It was definitely plausible. Regardless, I was glad it was taken care of. The haunting feeling of playing the piano in my sleep stuck with me, making my stomach sick with nothing but the thought of it.

"Oh, hey, Elsa," Kristoff greeted, entering the room and taking Eleanor from Anna who smiled in relief. She looked tired, as any new mom would, but much healthier than she had. I was so grateful that things could maybe go back to normal, although with us nothing was ever normal. I walked to Anna, wrapping her small body in a hug.

"I love you," I whispered to her, something I didn't say nearly enough. She hugged me tighter.

"I love you, too," And we broke apart. I stayed in her room a little longer, making conversation and holding my tiny, sleeping niece, before going back to my own room to lay in bed and think. I had a lot to think about. Leaving Arendelle for Jack would be foolish. I couldn't spend eternity with a man I barely knew, but I wanted to so badly... Maybe this was the true love Anna had thought she had with Hans, the silly infatuation that feels too much like the real thing. If I didn't leave with him, though, would I ever see him again? Without the promise of forever, would he even want to be around me? These were questions that needed to be answered. I needed to really talk to him, but I didn't know if I was strong enough to. I didn't want to stay in this awkward unknowing stage. 

Before I knew what was happening, I had fallen asleep. I had drifted into a light rest, or so I thought, but when I woke up I was nto in my bed and I was under a bright shaft of moonlight that seemed eerily unnatural. I sat up, rubbing my eyes, and taking in the snow white pallor of my skin. I was usually pale, but not this pale. There was a mirror on the wall across from me, and I looked into it to see myself, but different. My eyes were electric blue, looking like they had some kind of charge in them, my hair was so white it seemed to emit a soft glow. I looked like a new version of myself... Like a Guardian.

Oh, no.

Jack

I didn't know what to do. Elsa had ran out of my room without doing much but bringing up more questions and all I could do was pace and worry and worry and pace. I was surprised there wasn't a rut in the stone floor from where I had gone over it too many times. All I wanted to do was be happy with Elsa forever, whether it was as a Guardian or not, but that wouldn't happen. My forever was forever, whereas hers was not. I couldn't handle outliving her, losing her to the cruel hands of time. A wise man once said "What a slut time is, she screws everybody," and that man was right. So, I did what I had to. It wasn't right and I felt too bad about it for her not to be angry, but I had done it.

Moon was still unconvinced, he didn't want to do it, but whatever he had seen in her made him change his mind. In her sleep she looked so peaceful as his moonlight shuffled through her small body, filling every pore with glowing light and changing her before my very eyes. She turned white as snow, her skin glowing like the sun shining off each individual flake. I knew when she opened her eyes they would glow, I knew that for being the light in my life she would light up everyone else's. She was too special not to.

When she woke up, she saw it right away. She saw her reflection and looked around in fear and shock. Her electric eyes met mine and filled with disappointment. Before I could utter a word, she gave a broken sob and fell to her knees on the cold floor. She cried into her hands, beautiful hair a curtain over her face and shoulders heaving. 

"Elsa," I whispered, and she looked up at me. 

"How could you?" She whispered, betrayal in her voice. I could see the truth and hidden anguish in her eyes, the pure emotion on her face. What had I done? Was I really so selfish that I would take her away from everything she had ever known and loved? "Jack," She breathed.

"I love you." Was the only thing I could manage. I had no explanations, no way to right this wrong. Even the moon's light faded, as if he too was disappointed in me.

"Jack, what is... Oh, my God!" Tooth cried, entering the room after being signalled by the lights. She caught a glimpse of Elsa and rushed over to her, protectively wrapping an arm around the still crying form of my love. "You didn't." She spoke angrily.

"I didn't mean... I thought..." I sputtered, unable still to explain myself. I felt ashamed and guilty and stupid. I had no idea what I was doing, I still didn't know why anyone would want to make me a Guardian and this was exactly why. I ruined everything I touched. Sure, I was pretty fun, that was my center, but at what cost? Hell, I had hit Jamie with a couch the first time I'd tried to get his attention. I was a walking accident.

As the rest fo the Guardians realized what had happened, I left the room. I had nothing to do besides disappoint everyone. I left, the wind taking me far away. I had no idea where I wound up and I didn't know if I would ever go back.

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Thanks so much for 22k! Please keep voting and commenting, and please check out my other story, Surviving Camp Cedar! Also, if you love Jelsa, check out The Story of Winter by sanfranbrunette, one of my good friends. It's a great story!! (: 

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