Healing ✔

Chapter 30

Sara

I had watched Zach storm out. He didn't glance back once. Not once. Yet my heart squeezed itself tight and I wasn't sure if it was guilt I felt or something else entirely. But it was suffocating me for sure.

Nancy was still in the kitchen making todays meal and her daughter ran around the staircase hopping up and down the stairs on one foot until she finally found something else to do.

Me, I just silently watched from the top of the banister, my eyes on the front door still trying to understand what had just happened.

He had thrown open the laptop tapped a few keys and then dumped random things into his duffle bag.

If I read all the signs right it would appear that he was not to return anytime soon.

I shake my head in attempt to stop thinking about it and head for Salah instead, keeping myself busy with other tasks.

I folded my prayer mat into a neat square and placed it back in its allocated area after having prayed ignoring the thoughts coming back.

My stomach rumbled and I immediately felt terrible for not eating the whole day.

I make my way down knowing Nancy had left an hour ago.

The house was quiet and the only sounds were the sound of my foot hitting the ground.

I head on towards the kitchen glancing towards the hallway.

The room to the office was to my right and as usual a glow could be seen at this time of day through the cracks of the door. That would mean father was home and busy as usual.

I stand unsure whether to go and pay him a visit to see if he needed anything.

The brief moment reminded me of a similar situation not too long ago and then without a backward glance I made my decision and head for the fridge where a large bowl of speghetti sat gloriously on the top shelf wrapped in cling film.

I divulged into it immediately. The lion within me devouring every last bit of it. I had not eaten like this since a very long time and it felt good to just enjoy my fod for once.

I do think I had the trait of a lion to some extent sometimes. It was good at times but mostly it was dangerous for my soul since currently I was sat with a now empty plate and I had completely forgot to say the dua.

I drop my head in my hand and I am thankful that there is a substitute dua for when we forget the dua before we eat.

Bismillahi awwalahu wa aakhirahu.

Amazing how Allah knew we would need and use this dua a lot.

Washing up I then have a change of heart as I fill up another plate and head over to the office knocking once before being called in. Dark thoughts from my previous visit enter my mind but I bite my tongue hard enough for the thoughts to shrink back to nothing.

"Dad?" I pop my head in.

Dad looks up from his desk and smiles when he hears my voice.

"Ah. How wonderful." His eyes light up the moment he sees me, his wrinkles near his eyes are more prominent as I walk over and place his food before him when his eyes land on what I am holding.

"I thought you might be hungry." I sit in the seat opposite and watch him mouth his dua before taking the first bite.

"Yes I sometimes forget to take care of myself with everything that is going on."

I smile as he sends me an appreciative smile.

After spending my whole day alone it was nice to just be near someone for some company, even if we weren't talking.