Beauty and the Beast: A Naruhina Tale

Chapter 7: Toneri's Troubles

   Back in the village of Konoha, the town's hero Toneri is having his own problems. As the snow began to fall, half of the villagers were in the small tavern "Who does that girl think she is?!? that girl has tangled with the wrong man!! NO ONE SAYS NO TO TONERI!!" Toneri grouched as he sat in front of the fire place. "Darn right!" Rock Lee smirked as he brought Toneri some Root Beer in a draft (I couldn't think of a specific beer so I thought of root beer!) "Dismissed,rejected, humiliated in front of the entire village! why it's more than I can handle!! Toneri grabbed his beverage and threw it into the fire full of rage "more root beer?" Lee asked. Toneri turned him self away from his worried companion"What for? Nothing helps" he sulked "I'm disgraced!"  "You? never!" Lee chuckled at his favorite hero "Toneri you've got to pull yourself together!" he nudged his depressed friend and brought out his pitch pipe and started to sing.

(HERE COMES ANOTHER SONG!"

Gosh, it disturbs me to see you Toneri

Looking so down in the dumps

Every guy here'd love to be you, Toneri!

Even when taking your lumps

There's no man in town as admired as you

You're everyone's favorite guy

Everyone's awed and inspired by you

And it's not very hard to see why

No one's slick as Toneri

No one's quick as Toneri

No one's neck's as incredibly thick as Toneri

For there's no man in town half as manly

Karin, Shion, and Ten Ten:  Perfect, a pure paragon!

Lee: You can ask Shino, Jugo or Choji

And they'll you whose team they prefer to be on

No one's

Been like Toneri

a kingpin like Toneri

No one's got a swell cleft

in his chin like Toneri!

Toneri: As a specimen, yes, I'm intimidating!

Villagers :My, what a guy, that Toneri!

Give 5 hurrahs

Give 12 hip-hips

Lee: Toneri is the best

and the rest is all drips!

Villagers: No one

Fights like Toneri

Douses lights like Toneri

Kiba: In a wrestling match

nobody bites like Toneri

Triplets: For there's no one

as burly and brawny

Toneri: As you see

I've got biceps to spare

Lee: Not a bit of him scraggly or scrawny

Toneri: That's right!

And every last inch of me's

covered with hair

Villagers: No one hits like Toneri, matches wits like Toneri

Lee: In a spitting match nobody spits like Toneri

Toneri: I'm especially good at expectorating

- Ptooey!

Villagers :Ten points for Toneri!

Toneri: When I was a lad, I ate four dozen eggs

Every morning to help me get large

And now that I'm grown I eat five dozen eggs

So I'm roughly the size of a barge!! (Toneri flexes well whatever muscles he had)

Villagers: No one

Throws stars like Toneri

Makes those beauts like Toneri

Lee: Then goes tromping around wearing boots like Toneri

Toneri: I use ninja stars in all of my decorating!

Villagers: My, what a guy

Toneri!

    The villagers cheered for their town hero until a stranger came in from the harsh winter. "Help Someone Help Me!!" cried Kakashi. "Kakashi?" Iruka the bar tender questioned Kakashi begged the fellow men sitting at the nearest table "Please! Please, I need your help. He's got her... He's got her locked in the dungeon!" he begged "Who Kakashi?" questioned Lee as he was being held by Kakashi by the collar. "Hinata! we must go, there is no time to waste!" he stated. Toneri became intrigued by Kakashi's behavior "Ok everyone calm down please" Toneri stood up in a calm manor, "Who has Hinata locked in a dungeon Kakashi?" Toneri asked raising an eyebrow "A Beast!! A nine tailed beast!!" screamed Kakashi.

     The whole tavern laughed till their sides hurt, "Was this nine tailed beast huge?" asked Jugo "Yes!" replied Kakashi "With nine tails you say?" Choji snarked "Uh-huh!" Kakashi nodded "With large teeth?" smirked Shino "Yes! Yes it was awful!" Kakashi retorted. "Will you p-please help me rescue my niece, after her parents died she's the only thing I have left, I can't risk loosing her" he begged "All right, old man, we'll help you out" Toneri winked at the villagers "You will? Oh Thank you Toneri!" Kakashi rejoiced but as soon as Choji and Shino carried him they throwed his body into the snow. "Haha crazy Kakashi" chuckled Shino "He's always good for a laugh!"

  Toneri pondered at what Choji had said about the grey haired man. "Crazy Kakashi hmm" he thought "Crazy Kakashi hmm" Lee mimicked his idol. "Rock Lee I'm afraid I've been thinking" Toneri looked at his sidekick, Lee looked at Toneri concerned for Kakashi "A dangerous pastime,I know" he nodded "But that wacky old coot is Hinata's uncle, and his sanity's only so-so" Toneri said to his gullible friend with a devilish smirk "Now, the wheels in my head, have been turning since I looked at that loony old man. See, I promised myself I'd be married to Hinata and right now I'm evolving a plan." Toneri pulled Lee to the side and they began to whisper about Toneri's evil scheme. "If l..." "Yes?" "Then we..." "No, would she?" "Guess!"after they discussed Lee finally understood "now I get it!" "Let's go!" Toneri and Rock Lee shouted in unison.

No one

Rock Lee :Plots like Toneri

Toneri :Takes cheap shots like Toneri

Rock Lee :Plans to persecute harmless crackpots like Toneri

Villagers: so his marriage we soon will be celebrating

My, what a guy Toneri!

"Will no one help me?" Kakashi called out to the empty time square.