Villains on My Mind

Chapter 9

Author's note: So ignore the shovel in the gif above, I just thought the way he rubs his eye fits one scene from this chapter.
Thank you for reading. <3

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We ate in silence. Kylo Ren at times gave me a stare, but other than that seemed to be focused on his plate. The food was satisfactory, with some entirely new flavors to me that I hadn't decided if I liked or not.

I finished first, (the last time I ate, was on Earth yesterday, seems such a long time ago now), and retreated to where I am now. I'm resting down on the couch, enjoying the softness of it and the freedom of my hands. I couldn't really locate a right position for falling asleep though, I learned the couch was smaller than it looked.

I keep gazing out the window, into the universe. And a familiar company tiptoes into my mind. I'm reminded by the infinite galaxy extended out in front of me, of how utterly alone I am. I have a couple decent friends, like Jess, but that's pretty much it. And no boyfriend. No soulmate. Not even a damn cat. Just... alone. And cold. Like the space outside the window. My parents died in a plane crash when I was seventeen. They moved from France to the States, so I don't have any other family on the entire continent. Of course, my nana from France asked me to move in with her, but she resides in a tiny village up in the countryside, and I didn't want to depart with New York City. So I've carried this grief inside me for a while. It feels like a part of me now. My imaginary friend, always there at my darkest hours.

At least anonymity of the huge city brought me some sort of consolation and familiarity. I deduce that's why I had sunk myself so fully in schoolwork. Between working and night school, it didn't permit me a lot of idle time to feel sorry for myself. I also got myself involved in the local government in Brooklyn, I have been trying to get the soldiers to do rounds in my neighborhood as much as on the richer ones. I pay taxes probably more than they do for crying out loud.

... And your passion and participation in local politics at such an early time only expresses of the influence you could embrace. General Hux' words echo in my head and cause chills to shake me. I curl up tighter, body and mind drained. Little by little, my consciousness started traveling away from me, and changing to the rule of the unconscious mind. 

It doesn't take long until I wake up, shivering and cold, arms tightly wrapped around my torso. The lights were switched off from the dining and living rooms. Kylo Ren must've gone to bed too.

Hell, it is freezing. Significantly colder than on the smaller winged craft. I try to tuck my hands between my knees to warm them, but it just isn't enough. I need a blanket. Simple as that. I get up and tread over to the bathroom, intending to use the towels as a blanket. But I notice that aren't any there. When I showered, there were only two towels and after I had used them Kylo Ren had thrown them to the laundry chute.

I groan out loud. I'd rather not do what I'm about to do... but I can't not sleep two nights in a row. So, I walk over to Kylo Ren's bedroom door and knock on it.

Nothing. Silence.

My fist is in the air, about to knock again when the door slides open with a soft swoosh. He's shirtless and drowsy, with his luscious black mane messy from sleep. He's eyeing me up and down, and I feel that damn pull again. Heart pounding harder.

Thump.

Thump.

Thu-da-mp.

Control, I have to remind myself.

"I need a blanket, it's freezing," I say as casual as I possibly can.

"I don't have a blanket." He replies in a hoarse voice, seemingly unconcerned about my coldness.

"Ren, I need sleep. I barely slept last night on one of your impossibly uncomfortable chairs." I snap, cranky from being robbed of sleep and warmth. I cross my arms over my chest defensively and frown at him. If he can see into my mind, then he must feel how exhausted I am.

"Fine," he says and walks back over to his bed. "You can sleep in my bed."

Did I hear that right? Or am I so drowsy I'm delusional now?

"Excuse me?" I stutter and take a step toward him. He lays down on the bed, under the blankets and turned away from me.

"I can contain myself." He says and then turns to rest on his back, to glare at me. "Can you?"

"What! Don't be ridiculous, I'm not some teenage boy unable to keep it in my pants!" I scoff at him.

It is possible this is a deliberate ruse. To challenge me to show him wrong and get me in his bed. But eyeing at the overstuffed pillows and the heavy, soft looking blanket, a weakness washes over me.

"Then what's the problem, Ana? Just get to bed and sleep." He says and glares at me from the bed, eyes gleaming in the darkness.

I stand there for a couple seconds, eyeing at him and the pillows. Him and the pillows.
The pillows.

"Fine," I mumble under my breath and climb into the bed, burrowing underneath the blankets. So warm. So soft. Surrounded by his scent... Ugh.

"Why couldn't you just keep me in the jail cell." I murmur to myself.

"Because you, people of Earth," he snarls with such disdain. "Are more impulsive than asteroids. I need you nearby in case something unpredicted occurs, and the way I would deal with it would cause the distinction of citizens on Earth."

I shudder at the thought of it.

So angry all the time. I wonder if he's ever made a joke in his life. Or smiled for that matter. I haven't seen him smile yet once.

"I have my moments." He mutters.

I exert my hand to punch him in the arm, but he predicts it and seizes my hand mid-air.

"Get out of my head!" I snap and try to yank my hand from his hold but, obviously, with no success.

I swing my left arm to help free his hold but he grabs ahold of it too.

"Stop it." He grunts and flashes me a threatening look. My heart aches ever so slightly.

I stare at him back. After a moment, he releases my hands. I turn my back to him and tug the blankets over my shoulder. I can hear him sigh, and so I take a deep breath as well, inhaling the soothing of his scent. Fresh linens mixed with a lush forest air, musky and comforting.

Perhaps I should give meditation a go. Maybe that'll help banish the devil from my private thoughts.

All I know is, that night I slept better than I have slept in a long time. My loneliness kept at bay, in the bed of a villain.

There must be something wrong with me.