What Lies Beyond || AOT Boys x Reader

Chapter 23: Home

HOLY SHIT THIS IS SO BAD OMG IM SORRY. Also im gonna elaborate more on foster's deal btw
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There are a lot of surprises in life, like maybe a friend showing up with a cake on your birthday or maybe your mother getting you a new sweater; but some surprises were hard to comprehend and in this instance, Reiner wasn't sure he believed what his eyes saw.

It was like seeing a ghost. A gaunt, poorly dressed, but beautiful nonetheless sort of ghost.

"H-hi Reiner..."

The blond nearly fainted as a sudden rush of emotions crashed into him. Relief made up the majority of them but there was also love, confusion, and of course the obvious jealousy of seeing you in his best friend's room.

Reiner gaped and whipped around to share his look of disbelief with his friend. Bertholdt gave him a smile, though it looked more like a grimace as he scratched the back of his neck.

Hundreds of questions popped up inside Reiner's head but all he could muster was a simple;

"What the fuck?"

"R-Reiner, I'll explain in a s-second," Bertholdt rushed out, a furious blush painted on his cheeks. "J-just close the door."

Reiner slammed it shut and ran a hand through his shortly cropped hair. Too many questions without answers crashed against his skull like a tidal wave and he wished for a mere second that he was more simple minded like Connie so the questions would cease from parading around like a carousel.

"I thought..." the words caught in Reiner's throat. "I thought you were going to die..."

Your eyebrows creased ever so slightly as you glanced away and picked at the hem of your shirt. You brushed back a piece of hair behind your ear and sighed.

"I think I should be."

Reiner felt his heart crack.

He couldn't bear it any longer and took one long stride over to your side and swept you up in a hug, careful not to squeeze too tight. You tensed in his arms but didn't pull away as Reiner held you, his heart pounding beneath your fingertips that were splayed over his chest.

He smelled a little bit like the leather straps that crisscrossed his body and the faint smell that reminded you of cedar wood. It made you feel self conscious about your own smell knowing you hadn't taken a shower in at least a few days.

Though, Reiner didn't seem to care.

"(F/n)..," he breathed in your ear. "Thank the gods your alive."

A pang of guilt shot through you as Marlo Mines and Codi Demarco's deaths replayed inside your head. You should of died with them...

Then you thought about Warren...his alabaster colored hair...and...and Thomas..Were they dead too?

You swallowed thickly and fought back the sting behind your eyes. Your lip quivered as more memories of that terrible day resurfaced and before you knew it, you were sobbing.

The salty tears burned your eyes and dribbled scalding paths down your cheeks. You buried your face into Reiner's shirt, uncaring of his obvious surprise.

Your lungs heaved and your body shook with your forceful cries as the painful memories crushed you. You couldn't stop it even though you knew the tears were irrational...but it hurt. Gods it hurt.

It was your fault that Marlo died and your fault that Warren was probably dead. Your fault that Thomas was most likely strewn on the grass in bloody pieces. All you fault. All of it.