Mistakes I Made | The Walking Dead

Part 10

I had more to think about than I had in awhile-- so many wise words and mixed feelings competing for dominance, but at the end of the day, it was clear to me what I needed to do.
Tonight was going to be filled with happiness, however it plays out, but tomorrow.. that'll be the start of something new.

***

Daryl and I walked through the Hilltop, after having dinner with everyone else, back to the trailer we had been given; the peaceful nighttime air filling in the quiet between us.

"Do you ever wonder what the futures going to be like?" I asked, glancing over to him, "Like, how things are going to work out?"

"I don't know," he mumbled, "Why?"

I shrugged, the crunching of gravel beneath our feet, "Years ago I never thought this would happen-- no one did." I admitted, gesturing around at the walls, "It just makes you think, you know?"

Daryl nodded quietly for a moment before looking over to me, "What're ya thinking 'bout now?"

I let out a sharp exhale, mindlessly staring off as I tried to find an answer, "Everyone." I answered honestly, "Everyone here and back in Alexandria-- Rick, Carl, Rosita, you-"

"Why ya thinking 'bout me?" Daryl stopped me, "I ain't leavin' ya again, ya know that."

"No- it's not that it's just.. nothing's promised-- it can't be, not right now at least." I shook my head slowly, pushing open the door to the trailer, "I know we're going to take down the Saviors, we have to, but with everything that's happened.. I just want to make every moment count."

"Were ya not doin' that before?" Daryl asked, sitting down on the small couch.

"I thought I was.. but it doesn't really feel like it now." I shook my head before I felt Daryl's hand grab mine, our eyes momentarily locking as I felt myself nearly melt in the grasp that felt like home, "I- I'm sorry I've been so difficult to deal with since everything."

"Ya ain't got nothing to be sorry for-- none of it." He murmured as I mindlessly messed with our interlocked hands, not feeling like I could truly face him knowing what I know.

"I just wish things could've played out differently." I breathed, my voice weak as I desperately tried to control what I was feeling.
I hated having so many emotions towards the people I cared about, especially Daryl.
After what happened at the Sanctuary, the sound of his voice brought me regret where there used to be excitement, and heartbreak where there used to be butterflies. I could feel myself getting choked up every time I looked at him, emotion begging to burst out as that's all I could feel for him now-- raw, unfiltered emotion.
I didn't know if I loved him more now than I did before, but the love was there regardless and it's proven impossible to fade. And although I was thankful it was real-- thankful I had gotten to feel what real love was, it just made everything to come that much harder.

Daryl pulled me close as I sat beside him, wiping an escaped tear away with my free hand.

"She really is pretty when she cries." Negan's voice taunted in my head, memories refusing to stay hidden, making my stomach turn.

"I hate when ya cry." Daryl's raspy voice let out, his words only making my heart ache more as I rested my head on his shoulder.

"Why're you so good to me?" I asked again, a question that always seemed to linger without an answer.

"Ya already know." He mumbled, his thumb rubbing over my hand.

***

If I closed my eyes, it felt like I was home again, back in Alexandria-- the only home I ever felt completely welcome in.
I felt so relaxed in Daryl's arms; the covers pulled up around us as his hand tangled in my hair, ever so softly drawing patterns on my shoulder blades.
He was a treasure that I should've never been able to discover, and yet, here we were.

"What do you want for Christmas?" I asked quietly, the question truly coming out of nowhere as I had no idea what day it actually was anymore, I just wanted something to stop my mind from going where it always ended up.

"Huh?" Daryl questioned, his hand movements pausing.

"Christmas." I repeated, propping myself up, "Or your birthday or-"

"We ain't do that anymore." He mumbled, cutting me off.

I nodded slowly, "But if we did.. what could I get you?"

"Why do ya wanna know?"

I shrugged, running my hand over his bare chest, "I just kinda miss things like that, I guess."

The room went quiet for a moment, his mind at work, "What do ya want then?"

I bit at my bottom lip, laying my head back down on his chest, "I already have it." My voice barely let out, Daryl truly being the best thing that has ever entered my life.

I felt as Daryl shifted under me, causing me to pick my head before he pulled my face to his, our lips soon meeting; unexpected, yet much needed, contact.

Every kiss with Daryl, after what happened at the Sanctuary, felt so new.. but this felt like we were picking up right where we left off-- before Negan started tearing down what we built before we had even met him.

This kiss made me rethink what I was leaving behind.

_____
I honestly love Liz and Daryl as a couple because they understand each other so well even without the use of words; they've been through so many of the same struggles that they understand the boundaries one another has.

How are you feeling about them/their relationship/what may happen in the future?