Mistakes I Made | The Walking Dead

Part 19

I shut my front door behind myself, sliding down it to the floor as all of the emotion I'd been bundling up finally came out, barely letting me catch my breath.
I was losing everything, and although it needed to happen and it was on my own terms, it still hurt more than I ever imagined. Everything I ever dreamed for was getting ripped away from me, and it was all my fault.

I pushed myself up, harshly wiping my cheeks as I headed upstairs to finish what needed to be done-- to rip off the last remaining love that I felt like a bandaid.
I grabbed everything that belonged to Daryl-- pulling things off the bed and out of drawers before dragging it all back downstairs, tears still finding their way down my face.

As I pulled open the front door, to leave his things on the porch, I came face to face with Daryl-- his expression soon turning into one of confusion as he noticed the items in my arms.

"Take your stuff." I barely choked out as I shoved them into his arms, attempting to shut the door before he immediately stopped it, pushing it further open and letting himself in.

"What the hells goin' on with ya?" He asked, dropping his things over the back of one of the couches as I numbly tried pushing him back out.

"Daryl, please- please just go," my weaken voiced begged as he grabbed my wrists, pulling my hands off of his chest, "Please-"

"I ain't leavin' ya-" He began, trying to hush me as pulled out of his grip, grabbing the nearest item and throwing it in his direction.

"Go!" I sobbed as the figurine broke against the door behind him before he quickly grabbed me again, tightly pulling my broken down frame into his chest as I continued to fight against him, "Please Daryl.. please just go-- please." I begged, not only wanting him to leave me, this house, and all the feelings that still remained within its walls, but subconsciously, I wanted him to leave Alexandria-- hide away from the Saviors where they could never find him and use what we feel for each other against us.

"Ya ain't going with him," Daryl hushed as I sobbed against him, "I ain't gonna let him take ya-"

"You can't stop him!" I spit, shoving my way out of his grasp, "If he somehow gets ahold of both of us again, I-" I paused, trying to hold back more pain that pooled against my lower lash line, "If Dwight's telling the truth about what he wants to do to you-"

"I ain't give damn what the pricks got planned," Daryl murmured lowly, cutting me off as his stare dug deep, "We're endin' him and the rest of 'em."

I pulled my bottom lip between my teeth, my arms folded as my glazed over eyes met the ground, "I saw it happen-- last night in my dream I- I saw what Dwight said Negan would do." I choked out, looking back up at him, "I watched you die."

Daryl got quiet for a moment before turned back towards the door, dead bolting it, "I's willing to die for ya back at the Sanctuary," he shrugged, his tone more cold now as he passed by me, taking his place on the couch as he laid his crossbow against the side, "Been that way since the beginnin'."

I shook my head as I wiped the fallen tears from my cheeks, "Daryl, we can't keep doing this-- not now-"

"Just go get some sleep." He murmured, cutting me off as he glanced out the open blinds nearby.

I furrowed my eyebrows at him, stepping closer, "What're you-"

"If that pricks lyin' to throw us off, then I ain't lettin' them get to ya without something to show for it." He mumbled, his eyes still stuck to the window.

I bit at the inside of my cheek, my heart hurting as another dose of the truth coursed through it.
A sigh left my lips as the floor creaked under my feet, stopping as I took a seat beside him, my legs folded under me as his stare refused to meet mine, "This is what I meant when I said I never deserved you." I breathed, my voice shaky as I pulled his hand into my lap, "Whatever happens.. it's all to end this."

"I ain't gon-"

"Daryl, please," I stopped him, squeezing his hand as I took a deep breath, "You and everyone here have given me all I've ever wanted, please let me stop the bloodshed if I have to-- let me repay everyone."

Daryl glanced over to me before shaking his head, "Nah," he murmured, standing up, "We're gonna kill that son'a bitch tomorrow and he ain't ever gonna lay another hand on ya."

I nodded slowly, wiping away a remaining tear as the last bit of fight I had left on this subject disappeared. Daryl was ten times more stubborn than I was, and I knew that there was nothing more I could say to change his mind without completely breaking him, and if I did that.. I may as well start digging his grave myself.

There was no use in trying to push him away further and that was now very clear to me-- anymore arguing on the subject would only heighten the chance of one of us doing something we'd regret, and in a time like this, when the possibility of victory seems so close, the last thing we need is an impulsive decision to ruin everything.

I got up without another word, pushing past him as I headed upstairs to a bed that I was hoping would welcome me with open arms because, no matter what happens tomorrow, I'm going to need more rest than I've been getting.

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Sorry for the late upload, I've been dealing with a lot of writers block and sometimes I just get out of a writing mood for awhile

Anyway, I think I'm back and I'm excited for what's to come(: