Mistakes I Made | The Walking Dead

Part 36

I was kept out of the loop, knowing only what Dwight knew, until the moment I was swept away by Negan's side, still not being told anything of importance as my eyes scanned the now empty, dark courtyard.

I didn't have to ask any questions to know where we were going, and I now knew better than to plead with a man that has nothing but revenge on his mind, especially with the lack of communication between us recently.

I watched as weaponry was loaded into the trucks, my wrists being bound once more, this time behind my back as I winced at the uncomfortable position before I was shoved into the cab. Moments later I was accompanied by Negan himself and a driver, someone I think was named Richard, but learning the names of Saviors wasn't really ever something on my to do list.

"You're people are gonna be wishin' they thought twice about that shit they pulled." Negan hummed, a chuckle leaving his lips as engines began roaring throughout the midnight air.

Again, I felt powerless. I was once more in a position where there was nothing I could do to improve the intended outcome, no matter how hard I tried, because Negan was a man who fed off of power and the fear of others, and that's exactly what he always got. He was powerful and strong and always ten steps ahead on a plan that you weren't even aware existed until it was already too late.

My last option was something that I had already come to terms with before I ended up back at the Sanctuary, but I don't know if it's even possible because I don't know if he can do it— I don't know if Negan can kill me.
I can only imagine the days he spent away from me were to prepare him— convince himself to do the thing he should've done from the start, but I'll have no way of knowing until the time finally comes.
What I hope for is that I'm not the only one prepared for that possible outcome, because then his plan might actually work and all of this would have been for nothing.

***

The entire ride was spent in silence, and it was almost peaceful... like a moment of acceptance between the both of us, individually. Although I could be wrong, seeing as though my mind felt crammed full, yet completely empty at the same time.

I feel dumb now, but I really thought that there was some form of good in Negan— I would've bet money on it if that sort of thing mattered anymore, but that's just how strongly I believed it.
I could've been blinded by lust, some form of Stockholm syndrome, or just stupidity, but I swore there was something else under the layer we all knew so well.

I was awakened from my deep, numbing thoughts as the tired squealed beneath us, finally coming to a halt before the pace of everything seemed to quicken.
Truck doors swung open and chilled air rushed into the the cab as the driver slid out one way, followed by Negan the other.

"Stay put." He murmured, barely giving me a chance to respond as he closed the door.

Immediately I slid over to the window, repeating myself as I watched him walk around the hood, "Negan! What're you going to do?"

My attempt at getting answers— anything that would help me plan out the remaining time I had, was unsuccessful and clearly pointless. I was flying blind and so was everyone on the other side of Alexandria's walls, but I have to admit, seeing the place that gave me so much, one last time, was... bittersweet.

But the sentimental warmth that blanketed me in the moment was harshly stripped away as Negan's voice boomed in my ears— seeming to cause the cab of the truck to vibrate in unison with each word that he spoke.
Furrowing my brows, I scooted myself to the other window in an attempt to get a better look at exactly what was happening.

As his words continued— his threats, I began to get a sinking feeling in my stomach. His ominous, familiar whistles began to become the soundtrack to my nightmares all over again as I realized that I was wrong— this entire time I was wrong. All my hopes of an easy, quick resolution that would spare the rest of the people I cared about was just that... a hope— wishful, naive thinking.

"Negan!" I yelled, my voice bellowing in the metal cab of the truck, desperate to get the attention of the man who just threaten the lives of Rick and anyone else who he deemed fit to die.

My head quickly spun around as I moved swiftly through the small space, adrenaline racing through my body as I peered through every window available, feeling like time was running out as Negan began again.

"I... where?" I mumbled under my breath, not being able to spot Dwight anywhere— the one person I thought I had on my side outside of Alexandria's walls.

Just then, my stomach dropped again as another familiar voice spoke.

"He's not home." Carl announced, leading to him become a fresh target for the Saviors.

"Oh-ho-holy shit!" Negan exclaimed, gesturing to his men, "Everybody hold your fire— it's Carl."

Furiously, I began yanking at my wrists that were tied firmly behind my back, anxious whimpers leaving my lips as I felt my panic rise.

"Answering the door like a big boy... I am so proud." He continued, "Daddy's not home, huh? Well, I guess he's gonna get back to a big old smoky surprise."

Nothing made sense to me anymore— nothing of what he was saying and now I knew that that was exactly what he was going for. All the isolation and days away— the days that under any other circumstances he would have spent toying with me or trying to get more information— he intentionally stayed away so that there was absolutely no way that I would know what was coming.

He wants to win... and he just might.