Mistakes I Made | The Walking Dead

Part 31

I stood in front of the bathroom mirror as my eyes ran over my damaged reflection; a towel draped loosely over my midsection as I pitied the drained stare that looked back at me.
The further scared me because of the unknown that filled it, and I could see it all over my face.

My breathing hitched in my throat as the reflection in front of me revealed another figure that appeared in the doorway, leaning against its broken frame.
I clutched the towel closer to my chest as I leaned against the sink, my eyes shifting down to the water droplets that covered it.

"If I knew for sure who did it, I'd gladly give you a fair shot at them-" Negan's gruff voice spoke before I stopped him, the tension in the room causing me to lose my breath.

"Can you just give me a minute?" I pleaded, swallowing harshly as he soon complied, stepping back into the other room.
Immediately I pushed closed the door as far as it went before its splintered frame stopped it.

Negan's presence brings an energy that is unmatchable, and that being combined with the broken, vulnerable state I'm in, is nearly debilitating.

After catching my breath and slipping into the clean clothing I was left, I slowly stepped into the other room, "I want to talk to Rick, if that's still an option." I muttered, gaining his attention as he turned back to face me.

"You've always liked making demands, huh, darling?" He smirked as my stare held cold, "I think I might owe you that one, that is, if you don't cause my men any trouble while you're here."

"I don't plan on it."

He nodded slowly, stepping closer to where I stood, "I am sorry about that-" He spoke, referring to the wound that was now covered by the t-shirt I had struggled to pull on.

"It's your fault." I cut him off, my words also stopping him in his tracks as he let out a strained sigh, "You once told me to tell you if you ever hurt me.. you did— you are."

"I don't have a choice right now-"

"No, you've always had a choice— this all could've ended-"

"And it's going to." He assured, his voice steady over my wavering one.

My head shook lightly in defeat against his stubborn nature, something we shared, "So what's next, Negan?" I asked, "What's after this?"

"Well, I know you don't want to hear this, darling," he hummed, "But there's nothing after this— not for your people anyway, sure as hell not for Rick, not if you don't work your magic."

"Do you really think there's anything I could say to change his mind? After all of this?" I asked honestly, hoping he'd see the challenge from my point of view.

"I've known you to be pretty convincing in the past."

My face twisted in disgust at his words as I bit down on my bottom lip, never ending memories flashing through my mind.

"Boy.." Negan breathed, "You're really bent outta shape about all that, huh? Tell me, was that conscience of yours always there... or did I screw one into you?"

I looked up at him as I swallowed harshly, "I gave you so many chances.." I shrugged, admitting what was weighing so heavily on my mind, "And even now, every time I'm around you, I'm waiting to see something that'll show me I wasn't wrong.. that there's good in you somewhere."

"And what do you think now, darling?" He asked, his voice low as he lessened the distance between us.

"I hate you." I spoke clearly, our eyes locked, "You've given me no reason to not."

"And yet, you're still here— you offered to stay here, a weak offer to say the least, considering all that your people have done, so excuse me when I say that I don't believe that shit for a second." He continued, "Why don't you tell me what you're really thinking."

I shook my head as my facade finally broke, leaving my bottom lip quivering, "You've killed so many people that I loved— that I would've died for, and you did it in front of me... and I would still forgive you if you apologized, because you brought out something in me that I've tried so hard to hide." I admitted as he watched me fall apart, revealing the edge of my past sins, "You've ruined absolutely everything that I had and all I can do now is try to save the people who saved me, so whatever it takes, I'll do it, but when all is said and done, I hope you're finally man enough to kill me."

He nodded slowly, "You know... I hope I am too."

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It's been so long since I've been consistent with this book, but with the new season out, it's really motivating me to write more.
I hope you guys are still enjoying this series, and if all goes well, there will be another book after this one.