The Tale of Dragons and Dungeons

Chapter 11: Mourning Morning.

This isn't your typical chapter of The Tale of Dragons And Dungeons, and I've made it a point to write it sober. Viewer discretion is advised, but if you're still here, you're most likely here because you've seen all my hinting at it and you want to see what I've been planning, so you're probably going to ignore this.

Here we go.

Blader yawned. He stretched, grumbling as he walked into his kitchen to make coffee. He grabbed his mug from Stella's hand, mumbling a quiet "thanks" as he prepared a small jug of the dark liquid. He poured it into his mug and sat down at the dinner table. "Good morning, guys. What's new?" He looked around at his friends, waiting for a response. "Anybody want to share this cup with me? I've never been able to hold my caffeine well." He waited again, scanning his vision from left to right for an answer. "Mmh, I suppose not. I doubt corpses can ingest anything." Isaac wiped Stella's blood off the side of his "Wake up & Smell the Ashes" mug before taking a sip.

Staring into the lifeless eyes of his comrades had lost its punch since the first time he'd killed them, and honestly, waking up to a house full of dead people was just boring. Oznerol was sitting opposite him, his blood being used to write various different forms of obscene graffiti along the walls, his internal organs held in his hands, balled up like he was a teen boy grasping his first pair of bazongas. Stella was stuffed into the cabinet just above the coffee machine, her hands hanging from the doors limply. Rigor mortis had conveniently froze her joints in the perfect position to hold a mug. Blader put 2 cubes of sugar into the cup.

He put his feet up on Dedrater's head where it stuck out from the ground. He looked down at the splinter which had caught onto his skin from pulling the floor boards together around his neck. He pulled it out and snapped it in half. He took another sip. He walked back to the kitchen. He was met with the lifeless eyes of Gene, leaning on his hand. "Oh, please. I was gone for 2 minutes." Isaac twisted his fingers, moving the strings connected to Gene's joints. Gene's limp body moved in emphatic gesticulations. "Alright, alright, fine." He sat down, scanning his eyes quietly over the board. "Aha!" Blader moved his piece 3 times across the board. "King me." Gene's stiff arms swept the board off the table. "Aw, quit being a sore loser!" The checkers pieces clicked mildly to the floor, and were quickly followed by the equally mild body of the dirt conjurer. "Are you okay?" Blader stood and then knelt over the cadaver with genuine concern, offering his hand. "I didn't mean to do that, I only meant to-" He slapped Isaac's hand away. He smiled down at him. "Hmm. I see you're quite happy down there. Very well, I won't interfere." Blader grabbed his cream and poured a little into his cup, mixing it with a spoon before walking back over to the table.

Blader took another gulp of coffee as he pulled out a chart. "Okay, SO! Atten-TION!" He smacked his stick, made from bones, onto the board. "Our quest completion rate has dropped to 0%! What is the cause, and how do we fix it?" Oznerol was sat in his exact same position, only he was in a suit now. Lightning Heart and Thiefstone, likewise, were now in business attire, sat in the other two chairs there. They looked deflated, evidently unused to having their internal organs stolen, but moved with his fingers regardless. "Too much coffee?" "Too little coffee?" They both answered in unison. "Good guess, but no. I've made sure to drink the perfect amount." "Maybe you shouldn't have killed us? Just a thought." Isaac glared at Oznerol. He then threw him out the window.

Blader took another sip of coffee. He drummed his fingers on the table. "Jeez, I get that she was pissed about something involving gender roles, but literally the only thing on that list was milk. How long does it take a woman to get-" There was a knock at the door. "Ah, speak of the-er, well, her..." He stood up, drinking the last of the mug. He stopped before the door, seeing Lani stood, knife prone to throw at the dartboard in front of her. "Hey, your form is off. Did I not tell you to keep your arm straight?" Isaac adjusted her small frame to throw the blade perfectly into Naunia's chest. "See? It's easy as that. Bullseye! Yayy~!" He clapped his hands together, speaking in a chipper tone, almost as one would speak to a puppy. He then stopped in his tracks, wiping a tear from her eye. "Aww, no need to cry with joy! It's nothing, really. Just keep practicing~!" He heard the knocking at the door again. "Ah, I suppose I should get to that, huh?" He stared into her eyes, grinning maniacally. "͟͡E̢͏ş̨͟͝ ͢ţ͏̨̛u҉̨͘҉t̶̵̨̕͟ ̵͟͞͏m̶͟͞i̷̵r̴̢͞ ̕͘͡l̢͘͞e҉̧͡i̵͘͠d̛͢.̸̨́"͢͞ Isaac silently walked off, wings spreading. Lani didn't see anything else.