First Drafts ~ Indians, Puppies, Emos ~ Book 1

Chl🐾e's Bark: Chapter 3 ~ Wolf Pack : BEWARE

(Bayleigh, stop the "puns")

Chloe got up straight away. (Never mind, she's not relatable) She jumped down, got dressed, and went out. The second she got to K. Nine helpers she heard "Hey Newbie!" "Ryan, what are you doing here?" (He works here, even if he doesn't, his house is literally next door) She asked. "I work here, Newbie." (I already said that)He said. "Paps don't give me allowance, so I work here at Mrs. Nine." he added. There was a dog door that was as big as Autumn. "Flake, Midnight, Brook, Mult, Arrow, come out!" (Those names are still dumb) Ryan yelled through the door. Five wolves came out. Autumn soon came out with two pups trying to attack her tail. "The gray with dark gray stripe is Silver. Squirt is the white and gray one." Ryan told her. "They looked a lot like their dad, but they both have hazel eyes."

     "More Wolves!" (It's almost like it's illegal) Chloe exclaimed. Ryan threw a dog treat at her. (Okay, it's official, I have some sort of fetish envolving what dogs eat) She caught it. "Take em' to the obby." He said pointing. Chloe laughed. She liked the way he talked. (Occasionally, he's not the best at keeping his southern dialect)

     "Okay dogs - I mean wolves! (Yeah, just call them dogs to hide from the police) Go through the obby!" They all stared at her. "Go!".  Still staring. Ryan laughed. "You start, they follow, that what you do." he told her. "I'm not good at -" "If you fail, they will try to do better!" (It's like Bayleigh's advice to Bayleigh)

     She started running, they followed her. "Hide behind the first hurtle!" Rayan (🤣 Rayan...) called. She did and the wolves went on without her. One by one they started getting tired and slowly stopping. (The dogs are more relatable than the humans) "Snowflake and Arrow fight now." (Nice grammar buddy) Ryan made her jump. "They are always the last two. Probaly cause' their siblings." he went on. "Snowflake and Arrow?" she asked. Chloe didn't notice their similar white fur, (oh, so the two white wolves are related) the only difference is Snowflakes pale ears and snout, and Arrow's scar. Their eyes were both blue (Arrow's being slightly paler). "Flake and it's pronounced like Are-row." Ryan told her. "Chloe! Lunch!" (Woah! So either we're in a parallel dimension where a couple minutes are hours or Bayleigh doesn't understand the concept of time) she heard her grandmother call. "Got to go."

🐾🐾🐾 (yes I did draw dog paws instead of dots)

"Why isn't there a TV upstairs! (You JUST realized that) When I try to watch the TV down here, Edan or Royal growl or bark at me!" Zac complained. "Maybe Chloe can get the old one from upstairs." (Oh, so Chloe gets no consent in this) Sara told him. "Sure, I guess I can." Chloe answered. (Wow, for being the scene that leads into the story's turning point, it's rather short)

🐾🐾🐾

The attic was as usual dark and cold. (Okay, children, now it's time to get into the lesson of the importance of comas. Comas are neglected little punctuations that new writers neglect like the middle child. "The attic was as usual dark and cold" at first, this line is confusing but understandable after a couple reads. Now read this "The attic was, as usual, dark and cold" now, this sentence is easier to read and you can continue the paragraph without a second thought) Looking around, she finally found it, a early 80's VHS TV. (I would've used the proper term but, hey, we all can't get what we want) Fortunately she also found a VHS of "The Lion king" and "Ghostbusters." (Yay, more copyrighted material \o/)As she picked up the box she saw two cats. One was white and Blond and the other one was night black. The blond/white one hissed at her and they left. She got to the bottom safe. She forgot to bring the movies! (CHLOE, you JUST saw them! GEE, WOMAN)Chloe went back up to the attic. Coming down she tripped and fell! (Yah kluzts)Then blackout.

"Hey, CHloe wake up!" someone said.

Chloe was half asleep, she didn't feel like opening her eyes. (uh...) "I'm fine. My head just hurts." she answered. "Uh...oh my... (gawd) are you talking to me!'. the other person said. Chloe was confused. (Uh...) What did she mean by, 'Are you talking to me!'. "How about you keep your eyes cloesed!" she said and four sharp things scraped Chloe's face. (UH...)"Ow!" CHloe said. She imeadiatly opened her eyes. "I can explain!" she said Chloe had a mini heart attack. One of the wolves, Snowflake, was talking! (UHHH! BAYLEIGH put more DETAIL in your writing!)

(Oh and gasp. 😑, I guess insanity is hereditary)