Make a Joke of It All - A One Direction Love Story

Moments - Part One

Heart beats harder

Time escapes me

Trembling hands touch skin

It makes this harder

And the tears stream down my face

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My eyes grew wide as I stared at the note. It was Zayn's handwriting; I had become so familiar to the sight from the many letters he had sent me over the time we had spent together. I wasn't sure if this was real, though, or just a hopeful dream. I didn't understand how he could even think to write me a secret note saying he wanted to talk about our child.

Our. That word made my stomach fill with butterflies. Our child. Ours. He thinks for sure this is his baby, but I'm not totally convinced. What if it isn't? What if it's Harry's? Could he even look at me if it is? Would I even be able to live with myself? 

The fact that he had blown up earlier and now wanted to speak with me only seems astounding. Now he wanted to talk? I have a bad feeling about this.

I decided it was best if I went and saw him tonight. I didn't want the confrontation of wondering eyes from the other's if we talked around them or even with their knowledge. I couldn't deal with being the star of the day's soap opera episode; I needed secret.

I crept swiftly and breezily through the night filled living room. I could faintly see a grain of moonlight on Harry's face and thought what our child could possibly look like. Curly hair? Yes. Big mouth? Probably. Then I realized I needed Zayn, not Harry, at this time, and forgot about the whole concept.

A faint breach of light shone from under the door in Zayn's room. He was up, and it was time to take the bull by the horns and discover what the future holds. I reached my hand out for the handle, but the door opened suddenly, startling me back a step.

"Kate," came a groggily voice in front of me. Zayn was shirtless; a nice sight to see.

"You said you wanted to see me," I said.

He opened the door wide enough to let me through and motioned me into the room. "After you."

I sat down on the edge of the bed and pressed my hands underneath my legs. I gripped tightly to the edge of the bed as Zayn sat next to me. He didn't look at me when he did this. He only sighed heavily.

"Kate," he said again.

"Yes?" I croaked out softly. I felt sweat pushing the surface, and it was very chilly in the room. This one-on-one made me feel even more fussy than watching him barge out. He was calm now but still  seemed on edge. This was not reassuring.

There was a short, unsettling pause before anyone spoke. "You are sure you're pregnant, aren't you? This is not just a joke."

"I would never joke about this."

He breathed in heavily and let it out gently, still not looking my in the eyes. "And you aren't sure whose baby it is?" This last line came out crooked at the end.

"No, I'm not."

Zayn turned his head to me, something I could see from the lamp's dim light shining off his face. His face was pushing solemn with the tears rising. He sat looking into my eyes, deeply, as if he was searching for an answer. I had no answer.

"Kate...I want you to know that I've been thinking for the past few hours about this." He waited for me to speak, but I only stared at him, waiting for him to go on. "And I've gone through so many damn things. Everything we've been through. Well, with your father and all." He meant the abuse. "With all my family issues." He meant the deaths. He looked into his hands, fumbling between his fingers. And when he spoke again, his voice was breaking. "But you've betrayed me. You went and slept with one of the lads, and I'm not sure if I could ever forgive you."

My heart could stop right here, and I wouldn't think anything of it. The look on his face made my body feel a heart-tearing numb. Hurt was evidently the greatest factor in his mind right now and mine too. At this moment, I couldn't believe I could ever betray Zayn. I wanted to scream. I wanted to shout at him how sorry I was, to tell him I'd never do it again. 

Here he was sitting right beside me.

Zayn, the faithful boyfriend.

Zayn, the boy who loved me.

Zayn, the boy I loved.

I tried to look away, but my eyes darted back to his every time. I think I love him; I think he's the one, I  thought to myself. He's the one. He's the one I want to be the father of this unborn child. He's the one I want to spend the rest of my life with.

Zayn's the one.

"But then I realized I couldn't even let this slow me down." He looked me into the eyes. "I want to be with you, forever. If this baby is mine, I will be the happiest boy in the world." He sighed. His voice was trembling terribly, and all I felt was this numb feeling. "And if it isn't, I will still love you and that baby more than anything." I stared at him in shock. I did not expect this to happen. A 'I never want to see you again' would be what I figured was going to happen. Not this.

"I don't know if I could forgive Harry, though. He knew how much I love you, and he did this." He shook his head. Then he mumbled. "He couldn't just stick with cougars."

"And you are forgiving me?"

"I love you."

Zayn stood up and went over to the side drawer next to the bed. He took something out and cupped it in his hands. I couldn't make out what it was. "I've had this for a while now, and I figured there's not better time than now."

He walked over to me and knelt down on one knee. I felt as if a million mini kangaroos were jumping inside me. Like I had the heart of a hummingbird. I didn't expect this.

"Katherine Annabelle Carter," he said, opening a little box. "Will you do me the honor of being my wife?"

- - - - - - - - -

Did you expect this? I sure didn't! lol 

So, here's a question for those who are reading:

Do you think it's Zayn's baby or Harry's? Comment below.

-Hannah:)

Thanks for reading.

I know this was a very short chapter so stay tuned for "Moments - Part Two" to see how it all resolves.