Make a Joke of It All - A One Direction Love Story

Disaster

It ain't the same, my baby

Watch it all fallin' to the ground

No happy ever after, just disaster

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The plane ride felt like an eternity. Thoughts of Zayn and Harry crept into my head, bad thoughts. I couldn't shake them off. The thought of ruining the world's future biggest boy-band single handedly takes a great toll on one's self. I couldn't imagine ruining a friendship over me, let alone this.

I knew right as I looked out the window I could never go back, never see any of them again. I had to leave in order to let any issue resolve that it could. Eventually Zayn and Harry would get over this enough to be a band again. Once they realized I wouldn't see them ever again.

I landed in London around 11 a.m. the next day. The plane had been delayed a while due to the threatening of storms. Once they saw there were none, we headed home. I didn't arrive at my actual home until around seven. There was so much traffic on the streets I couldn't believe it took me this long.

My apartment building seemed colder than it had when I had left it so many weeks ago. Unlike the boys multi-room palaces, I only had one room. One small pale bedroom, a pale bathroom, a petite pale kitchen, and a small room embarrassing to call a living room with only a couch and a TV.

It was cheap enough on my miniscle salary. I had never brought Zayn here all the time we dated. I was too embarassed to show anyone this dump of a place I called home.

I set my bags in the doorway and went straight for the fridge. I went to the compartment containing items that would normally be put in a freezer and grabbed the tub of ice cream I kept for special reasons. I set it on the counter with the biggest spoon I could find and headed for my suitcase. 

After slowly changing into my comfy clothes, I grabbed the Moose Tracks and flopped onto the couch. When I turned the TV on, I found there was nothing good on. Of course. I decided to watch the showing on ABC Family of The Notebook. It was a good movie to cry all your problems out to.

One part came up that really got to me. It's raining, Allie and Noah, the two main characters lost in love's evil battle, are coming in from a boat ride. They haven't seen one another in years, but the fire is still there. It's what Allie starts that gets to me.

"Why didn't you write me? Why? It wasn't over for me, I waited for you for seven years. But now it's too late," she says.

"I wrote you 365 letters. I wrote you everyday for a year," Noah said.

"You wrote me?"

"Yes...It wasn't over. It still isn't over."

I remember watching this with Zayn, watching him crying in my arms. He had written me letters professing his love multiple times before we started going steady. Maybe it was this that made me break down and cry. The memories that flooded back to me uncontrollably. 

The empty paper container hit the old hardwood floor with the clang of cheap metal as I ran for the bathroom. I landed hard on the ground below me. I flung open the toliet seat and upchucked the ice cream I'd just indulged my sorrows in. It tasted bitter on the way up. 

It was deja vu. I sat leaning against the close tub/shower and let all my tears flow. I knew I couldn't do this on my own, but I was going to have to. Zayn needed this opportunity, and maybe some time in the future when we could simply smile at each other in the life we'd both found. But I knew better.

If I ever saw Zayn on the streets, in the present or the future, he'd try to stop me. Try to get me back. Try to be in my life and this child's, even if it wasn't his. Wasn't his? Harry.

And what about Harry? He'd probably do the same. They both would do the same, I know. I loved them for it but hated them even more for just the thought.

I finally found it in myself to lift my body back to the couch. I decided I couldn't endure any more of this torturous movie, so I flipped it to E!. They were talking about the latest celebrity gossip. Kim was getting married. Again. Christina was out partying. Some Jonas brother was spotted with some "famous" chick I'd never heard of before.

And then it came to a the prime story. The story they'd been apparently promoting for a half an hour now. It was about the boys. A story I'd known it would be out at some time but not this soon.

Ryan Seacrest's voice rang over the TV. "Breaking News from Britian's hottest boy band. Sources close to the group One Direction say the boy band is through. They say there was a dispute between two of the members, but there is no word on what the fight was about. Their US tour has officially been canceled for the time being. But we here at E! are hoping they pull through this. Back to you...." I cut the TV off. A short story on a big topic.

It's all my fault. It's all my fault millions of teenage girls are crying because they don't get to see their dream boys. My fault. And the sick part is the girls don't even know why their dreams have been crushed. I can't believe I could be so selfish and sleep with two boys. It's my sluttiness that brought this out. I'm such a whore.

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Thanks for the read. This chapter was a little too short for my liking, so I may do a Zayn/Harry perspective about what happened after. Comment if you want to see what went down after Kate left or if you want to wait and hear from her P.O.V.

-Hannah:)