Chapter Eight

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Chapter Eight

For what seemed like forever, I began considering a series of words and their definitions and how they had gotten me in this situation in the first place.

Regret? I don't regret saying yes to joining the Family of Freaks.

Irrational? Probably.    

Motive? I have a motive -get Cousin out.

Strategy? Not a clue.

And then I remembered there's not a point of trying to free the clown, if I don't know if his personality even exists. He could be just a breathing shell, with nothing left wallowing in that brain of his.

He could be too far gone, and I wonder if that'd be a bad thing or a merciful one.

The first thing I did, was walk over to the door of the now moving train, and opened it slightly enough for light to bleed through the slit.

Luckily for me, the bit of light shone directly on Cousin. Though he was blindfolded, he shivered slightly when the light blanketed his skin, as if he actually felt it.

I cleared my throat, "I told you, on the stage." I said, my voice quivering, "That I'd do all I can to get you out of this imprisonment."

Silence, nothing to be heard but the rattle of the train moving quickly on the tracks.

I took a step towards him, and when he didn't try to grab me, I felt confident enough to step even closer.

I can't afford to doubt myself. I must stay vigilant and assertive in this mission of mine, whether it's doomed to fail from the start.

I lowered myself onto my knees, leveled with Cousin who sat uncomfortably in the chains on the floor of the train car.

"I'm going to take your blindfold off, okay?" I said as comforting as I could. Of course, he said nothing in return, but I still felt as if I should warn him.

I reached my hand out, and gently laced my fingers around the blindfold that covered his eyes.

He flinched when one of my fingers accidentally brushed his cheek. I refused to pull away as I slowly lifted the blindfold, until his eyes were visible, and directly focused on me.

I hadn't realized I was holding my breath, as we stared at one another. His cruel, black eyes, seemed to hold a million screaming emotions. Sadness, humiliation, rage.

I let out a long breath, and spoke up, "Can you speak?"

He was silent, but his eyes were blaring.

I bit my lip, "Can you understand me?"

He blinked, and though the chances were it was only a coincidence, I felt my heart began to rapidly beat in relief.

I'll take the possible misunderstanding of an innocent blink, as a yes.

I couldn't stop the smile from creeping up onto my lips. My eyes trailed down to his shoulder blades. I stared at them, how they protruded out like knives. Yet, the more I stared, the more I realized they were the bones of a malnourished man, not monster. They were a bit deformed, yes, but not entirely unnatural.

His knife-like bones did not scare me. How the people reacted to them is what scared me.

"You know," I said as I stood up and gazed out the open slit of the train door, "If I could just get you out of those chains, we could escape tonight." I turned to him, "Though I don't think it's that easy."

His eyes were fixed on the floor. I wondered what he was thinking.

I stepped towards him again, and began to feel the chains that bound his wrists and ankles. He tensed, but he didn't lash out, not like Candace claimed he would, anyway.

Keys. It's a simple plan, really. All I must do is smuggle a set of keys, unlock the chains, and jump out of the train during the night when the rest of the circus are asleep in their boxcars.

And yet, nothing is that easy, not for me.

I turned back to Cousin, he sat as if he were frozen solid, and I didn't push him to speak, at least not for tonight. The best way for him to trust me, is by allowing him to speak on his own terms. Forcing him won't accomplish anything. Especially when he's been forced to do actions against his will his entire life.

I sat uncomfortably in the corner of the boxcar, and hugged my knees to my chest. I began to wonder what Katie was doing right now. Knowing her, she'd be frantically searching every inch of the circus, blaming herself for my missing.

By now, my mother is most likely aware of my disappearance, and is yelling anyone she could just for the show of it. Any chance she can get to run her mouth she'll take.

She doesn't care about me, she cares about her appearance as a mother whose child has gone missing.

I'll make it up to Katie. I'll make it up by coming home not only safe, but as a new person. I'll be kinder to her, I'll be independent. I won't let her think my life is her baring.

I hadn't realized I was crying until a small sob escaped my lips. I clamped my hands over my mouth and looked up at Cousin, who was staring at me profoundly. I immediately felt ashamed for crying when he was the victim here. I wanted to hit myself for being so careless.

I quickly wiped the tears from my eyes. I wanted to look away from him, but he seemed to not want to look away from me.

For the remaining of the night, we both sat in the lonely boxcar, staring at one another, not gaining a wink of sleep. I wasn't sure if it was adrenaline, or the shame of leaving my sister that made my body refuse slumber, but I was hardly bothered by it, not when Cousin blinked once, blinked twice, and opened his mouth to speak.

aeT/t

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