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it feels good. the air and the sun. i feel so deprived of everything. i locked myself up in some house and stayed there for a couple of days until the food ran out. but i haven't slept. i feel like i'm dragging myself across this road. as i'm walking i can hear hershel and i's last conversation in my head. it's been replaying over and over. about us and how we'll be okay. about the spaghetti. about rick and about how i've become family. it weighs on me more every time. i'm exhausted.
i wander through a neighborhood with the picture frame of carl's family in my hands. the only other thing i have on me is my knife. i walk up some stairs to one of the houses and jokingly knock on the door as if someone's going to answer.
when i open the door two walkers come out and i kill them. i check the house to make sure it's empty and when i'm done i go upstairs and lay on one of the beds.
i realize that this is what i wanted, to help the group and leave. i'm free now. i no longer have to worry about a group or about meeting people. so why can't i stop thinking about them? i mean, it's been like three days. the more days that go by the less of a chance i have to find them.
i sigh and roll over onto my stomach, wanting to just get some sleep. i clutch onto carl's flannel, pulling it tighter around my body and close my eyes.
~
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i haven't been able to go to sleep just as i thought i wouldn't. i feel like if i go to sleep i'll see the group and it'll start to drive me crazy. just as i'm about to try and fall asleep again i hear a creak downstairs. i hurry under the bed. i can wait it out.
i'm still too sick to fight. i begin to hear fighting in the other room and then a door slams. footsteps come into my room, a person with only one shoe. there's a sigh and then the footsteps go out the window, making me furrow my eyebrows. who really wants to stop and take a seat on a roof for all to see them in the middle of an apocalypse? how could someone be so stupid? i scoff and try to pull myself quietly out from under the bed but stop when i hear a walker come in.
i come out from under the bed and kill the walker. the window isn't open enough for me to see the person so i head for the door. i don't want to be with anyone else. but the curiosity starts to eat at me. i turn around and peak under the open window.
