DEFIANT | Carl Grimes

30: this wasn't supposed to happen

we head back to the house and stand in the doorway. "he did it," i sigh. "he wanted them to think i've turned on them."

rick walks between us through the door way. "we're going to hilltop. get ready," he looks at carl.

"we have to," i speak up and he gives me a look. "daryl should be getting there any minute if i planned everything correctly."

"you got him out without even being there?" carl asks.

"i wasn't gonna leave him," i say and look at rick. "i made sure he could get out first before we even left. i told him to get hilltop cause negan would be here."

"so, you planned the whole thing?" he asks me.

"i did. look," i sigh, looking around. "i know what i said but i also know my loyalty is here. to you, to carl. to everybody."

rick puts his hands on his hips and stares at me for a while before nodding. "yeah, alright," he nods again. "alright, let's get to hilltop."

"let's go," carl says. everyone leaves the house and i look over to him. "you're back now. this is good."

"you were gonna tell him, weren't you?" i ask , biting my lip.

"i didn't mean t—"

"yes, yes you did. you meant that with everything in you," i shake my head.

"we had a deal, jade."

"a deal, carl?" i ask and turn back towards him.

"a deal," he nods. "worse comes to worse... it was your deal. worse comes to worse and i get to find him and tell him. well, he found us."

"this is not the worst," i narrow my eyes.

"this isn't the worst? do you really wanna do this? olivia is dead, spencer is dead... abraham is dead, glenn—"

"stop."

"who else has to die, huh?" he asks, getting in my face. "tell me. who else do you need to see get beat to death by that damn bat? daryl? maggie? me? do i have to be the one to die for you to tell your dad his daughter is alive? i can't do that if i'm dead, you know... i can't—"

i push him away from me. "i don't know what happened to you while i was gone, but you're gonna need to get it together," i tell him, grabbing one of my guns and a knife. "i get to do what i want here. with this. i don't want him to know and that is final because this is not the worst."

"right," he scoffs.

"right," i repeat sternly. "try and tell him again and watch just how quickly i disappear, alright?... alright?"

"alright," he sighs.

"now, if you'll excuse me," i push past him. "i'm gonna go check on my best friend because the woman she lives with just died."

i walk outside and see mikey sitting on the porch. he looks up at me and gets to his feet. "thank god you're still here," he says.

"where is she?"

"in the house," he tells me.

we start walking towards olivia's house. "that was quite the speech you gave," mikey says and i sigh.