DEFIANT | Carl Grimes

19: we are a team

i knock repeatedly on the door and carl answers. he opens the door and i pace in. "pete killed reg. rick killed pete," i let out. "i was gonna keep learning about building for noah but now there's no one to teach me. he was gonna teach us how to protect and grow this place."

"i didn't want you in the middle of that," carl says. "that could've went very badly."

"it did go very badly," i look down, and rub my face. "i just can't do this anymore. i am so tired."

he helps me to feet and hugs me tight. i don't want to move. i want to stay in his arms forever but he ends up taking me upstairs and pulls me into the bathroom. i remain quiet and still. he takes off my jacket and sets it on the counter. then he takes off my shirt and my tank top underneath. he walks over to the tub and sits on the edge as he turns the bath tub on. he lets it fill up before he pulls me close to him and takes off my shoes and socks. he looks up at me and unbuttons my pants, pulling them down slowly. then he helps me into the bathtub and i sit down.

he leaves and when he comes back he has a rag. he soaks it in the water and then puts it against my skin, he cleans it. i sit there and stare into the water as he continues to clean me. "thank you," i whisper.

"it's no big deal," he tells me.

"yeah it is," i say. "it's big for me."

"there isn't a single thing in the world i wouldn't do for you," he says.

"you're so good to me," i sigh.

"you said you're tired of fighting so stop. i'll fight for you," he says and puts the rag down after he finishes. he gets ready to walk away before i grab his hand.

he faces me. i put my arms around his neck and pull him to come closer to me. he puts his forehead against mine. i close my eyes. i can feel his face getting closer to mine. "ron's dad died?" enid asks, storming into the bathroom.

carl quickly pulls the shower curtain so only my head is showing. "he killed reg and then rick killed pete," i say.

"woah," she says and learns on the counter. "so, what do—what do we do? where's ron?" she asks.

"i don't know," i lean my head back. "i don't even know if he knows."

"he is not gonna take this well at all," she shakes her head, sitting on the floor.

"and why should he? his dad is dead," carl speaks up.

"ron's dad died?" mikey rushes into the bathroom and i groan, rubbing my eyes.

"how'd you guys even get in here?" carl looks at them.

i look at carl and he looks at me and i nod. hey, enid," i give her a look and glance at carl, "why don't you guys go check on ron and i'll get dressed and we'll come meet you guys."

she raises her eyebrows, catching on and nods. "oh, i don't think carl being there will be a good idea," mikey says.

"woah, why not?" he asks.

"because your dad killed his?" i let out. "we'll figure it out." i give enid a look and she jumps up.

"right," she nods. "right. mikey, let's go check on ron."

enid ushers mikey out of the bathroom and looks back at me, giving a wink. carl gets up and closes the door behind them, locking it. "you should've done that the first time," i smile.

"where were we?" he asks and sits back down beside the bathtub.

"mm, carl, maybe we should get going," i look up at him. "his dad did just di—" he grabs my chin and kisses me. "or we could do this."