DEFIANT | Carl Grimes

13: you don't break your promises

it's been two weeks and jade still hasn't woken up, but it still seems like she could wake up any moment now. my dad said it could be a coma. i just think the others have been telling themselves something to ease the idea of her not waking up. most of them think she won't. i haven't left her side since my dad first allowed me in the room. i've slept on the floor every night in here, ate every meal, i really only left to use the bathroom.

the bumps on her back over the past two weeks have gotten bigger, some have even oozed which i guess means the vesicles will start healing soon. it looks very painful, i'm kind of glad she's not awake to feel it, and i certainly hope she can't feel it while she's asleep. she's still covered in blood since i didn't want to touch her in case maybe it'd cause her pain in some way. she is, however, still as pale as the day she passed out and she is still as cold. some days even more, even though i don't see how that could be very possible. i never really thought there was a temperature colder or any whiter white than death.

the only person that's held the idea that she's going to make it through this along with me is daryl. the others believed it for a while but around day ten, they figured that maybe if she wasn't awake then maybe it would stay that way. "we're gonna have to get moving soon," my dad said, coming into the room.

"how are we gonna move her?" i ask and everyone stays quiet. "if you're thinking about leaving her or something, that's not happening."

"carl," my dad said.

"no, he's right," daryl said, siding with me.

"we can stay until she's..." my dad trails off.

"and who said she will?" i ask.

"she's in a coma and we don't really have anything to check if she's actually okay," my dad said.

"you were in a coma, weren't you?" i ask. "even after this all started and you were alone and you still made it. she will too."

my dad sighed and rubbed his temples. "carl," he sighed and looked at me. finally he looked out the window and nodded. "you're right. i made it and there's a chance that she still could too, but there's also a chance she won't."

"how many of us thought she was gonna survive what happened at woodbury?" daryl spoke up and looked at jade. "she'll get through this and she can take all the time she needs. we got nothing but time."

my dad walks out of the room, daryl closing the door behind him and i turn to jade. "jade, you have to wake up. now. please. they wanna leave and i can't, i won't go without you," i don't know why i'm panicking but i am. i mean, it has been two weeks after all. i thought there could be nothing worse than jade leaving this group, but there is something worse. it's this. to have her right here, right next to me and she's completely unaware. she can't see, or hear, or even feel me and i've never felt further away from her than i do right now. tears sting my eyes. "please, jade."

i put my head down against the bed and wipe my face. i've sat here for two weeks. i've sang to her at night. i've read to her during the day. i've sat at the window and described how the sky looked and how the grass looked and how the trees looked. maybe i owe it to her now that i can say i like the earth a little more even if the only thing left of us is death, but i've learned that sun still comes up and the clouds still move and the wind still blows. i can see how jade found comfort in the earth. it was the only thing that never changed on her.

i'm confused by the sudden warm feeling i get underneath my hands when i look up and see that i'd had taken jade's hands in mine. "jade?" i ask and for a second i feel like i just imagined it but when i intertwine my fingers in hers i can feel the familiar warmth slowly flooding back. i run out into the hall. "guys, something's happening."