Selfie With The Mafia

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Song: Fleurie - Hurts like hell

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Ava

        Pain only could be described so much, because what I felt at this moment was too unpredictable...too much.

I thought I lost it, my heart, my soul and my life, but the pain impacted so hard, making me to forget about the loss. I wanted to be numb, so much that I couldn't be able to feel the slow rhythm of my heart, which was frantic at certain times.

I was fighting, everyday I tried to rip off the darkness and feel the light cascading inside, it only drowned me more, it only disappointed me more and it only pained more, choking me to death.

There was so much I wanted to do, I wanted to scream and call out for someone to help me. I think it was fate was playing, laughing.

I felt a warm caress on my cheek, almost feathery and lightweight but it felt anything but that. That simple touch was hurting me and a sudden urge stirred inside of me to slap the hand away. I was crying out, so loud.

Why was no one listening to my cries?

This was too much, I couldn't take it at once. For today, I have had enough. I was done. After what felt like a long time, I felt tired like I did every time. I felt tired of trying.

And after all attempts, I wished that I would just die...like everyday.

But then again, the hope still rose, the sun would rise and drown the darkness in it's depths of brightness.

And, I just wished that I would try to get myself out of this long, deep sleep.

I knew it was a new day again.

I was expecting the pain to claw me in a thundering rush, so I waited. I waited and waited and waited.

It left me bewildered that it never came. There something new. I heard someone murmuring next to my ear, the voice was soothing, letting me to embrace the warmth and comfort with their deep tone that was trying hard to be gentle but failing miserably. I didn't care but wondered who it was-- because right now, I was sleeping, unable to make out a single word.

My mind wandered to the past where I was with someone, someone whom I loved. That person was beautiful with blue, tantalising eyes which saw right through my soul. I felt my heart lightened a bit, pleasant and surreal.

I wanted to smile but it was like my body has turned hard and immovable, frozen on the object I laid. I felt the light, it was coming and I started to run. I pushed myself more into it, welcoming it with open arms because there was someone beside me who wasn't whispering my name.

But called me Tigrotto.

My eyes ripped open and the sudden flash nearly left me blind. I blinked few times, slowly, getting used to the normal day light. The first thing I did was smiling, I knew it might look more like a grimace since it was hard but I smiled because I was freed from the infinite darkness, smiled that I have succeeded through it.

"Tigrotto."

Just one word sent warmth throughout my body and I found it difficult to move my head the side where the voice came from. But I did, I wanted to, because there was someone whom my eyes yearned to see.