Tf2 x Reader OneShots [Requests Open]

Dinner for two - Spy x Reader

An invisible hand clamped over your mouth. 'Keep quiet.'

You lowered your pistol as Spy dragged you back from the entrance of the BLU base. You rolled your eyes as he uncloaked behind the safety of a nearby rock, and he leaned in close to whisper to you:

'Ze ozers told me to warn you - not yet.'

'Not yet? So I've been standing out here for ten minutes for no reason, then?' You huffed angrily when he nodded and frantically waving his hands at you to keep your voice down.

'Ze enemy Spy was waiting for us. Scout got backstabbed, and we don't know if 'e is disguised or not.' He motioned for you to follow him. 'Medic decided it is best to call off ze attack.'

'Hang on. How do I know you're not the Spy?' You levelled your pistol at his head, but he just smirked.

'I zink if I was ze enemy, I would 'ave killed you long ago, mon cher.' He had a fair point. Besides, only he had started calling you mon cher for the past few weeks, so he couldn't possibly be the BLU Spy. Unless he had managed to get into the RED base and hear Spy calling you that, which would be extremely unlikely without getting gunned down by a sentry.

It really bugged you that he called you mon cher, because you didn't know what it meant. It's not like you could just go onto google translate whenever you liked, you were in the middle of a freaking desert, where wi-fi connection had a reputation for being absolutely crap. And you'd never asked Spy, because...well, he intimidated you and could go from calm to angry in a split second.

Now, come.' He commanded, slipping his gloved hand into your free hand and pulling you along behind him. You stumbled and protested a bit, but he showed no signs of slowing down. Keeping a firm but gentle grip on you hand he led you back to where the rest of your team were waiting with the van engine on.

'Come on, let's go before the bloody spook comes back!' Sniper growled impatiently from the driver's seat. Spy gave Sniper a distasteful look (something about the pair of them always trying to diss the other's class) as you and the mercenaries hopped into the back of the van, and it immediately propelled you backwards as Sniper floored the pedal. Luckily Spy was still holding you hand, or you might have gone flying out of the back of the van.

'Woah, thanks.' You said breathlessly as Heavy closed the doors. 'But, uh...you can stop holding my hand now.' You said, your cheeks colouring slightly.

'Your loss.' He said, smirking, and let go of you hand.

'What do you mean, my loss? Look, if you wanna hold my hand, you at least have to take me to dinner first.' You joked.

Spy didn't reply, just smiled that mysterious smile of his.

'Pyro, don't touch zat!'

You were dragged from your thoughts at the sound of something being hit, then a sad...noise coming from Pyro. He shuffled back from Scout's body, looking sheepishly at Medic, who seemed to have hit his hand when he reached out for something.

'I told you, do not touch ze bodies! You could infect zem or somezink, who knows vhere your hands haff been?' Medic glared at Pyro for a moment before extracting the butterfly knife from Scout's back. Pyro made another sad noise and sat in the opposite corner of the van, near you. He looked like a child that had just been told to sit in the "naughty corner".

You nudged Spy. 'You have a lighter, don't you?'

He raised an eyebrow at you. 'You know I do.'

'Can I borrow it?'

'You've started smoking?'

'God no! I just wanted to cheer Pyro up. He's a lot of fun when he's happy, you know. He has thoughts and feelings like the rest of us.' You pointed in the direction of Pyro, who was hugging his knees and rocking back and forth a bit.