I'm a loser, you're a dork. (Richie Tozier x reader)

Empty

   As the door shuts quickly, I feel the breeze react with the newly shed tears in the corners of my eyes and on my red cheeks, giving me a cold feeling. I immediately feel as if something is broken, or missing, within me, something I desperately care for and need. How can I blame him for this feeling I'm having though? Isn't it all my fault? Repeatedly dragging his heart along with me because I was confused, and couldn't make a damned decision. No, I can't blame him, I can't blame Richie, I can't blame anyone but me, and my stupid decisions. I dug myself deep into a hole that repeatedly nipped and scratched at my happinesses. I dug that hole.
   I haven't seen the other losers in what feels like forever, and it feels like I might never see them again. Now, it's the first time in a long time I've felt empty, unwanted, and like I've messed everything good that I had up.
   •••
   "Hey? Um. Y/n? Are you gonna stand there forever?" Richie asks as he rests his soft hand on my shoulder.
     I don't answer him, I just turn on my tired heel and start walking away.
   "Hey! Wait up!" He says as he starts catching up to me. "Look I know you're upset, how about we go to the arcade? To get your mind off of things. Come on I know you want to." He says with a big grin. Oh, that grin, how is he smiling through all this pain? Is it just me who's feeling this pain? I wouldn't know at this point.
   "Sure, whatever, I'll go yeah." I say still looking at the ground. He claps in excitement and grips my hand, walking with a skip in his step.
   "This is gonna be so fun!" He says and he continues to grin as if he's oblivious to everything wrong. My feet slam around as if they're going by themselves. I don't pay attention to where I'm going and I lazily let Richie guide me, making sure I don't hit anything in front of me.
    "Hey, really though, are you ok?" Richie asks after noticing my feet starting to drag.
   "Nope. Everyone's gone." I say and walk ahead of him. He runs and catches up with me with a confused face on.
   "I'm still here." He says and grabs my hand, making me stop. I look up at him, having no choice.
   "We just lost Eddie, I haven't seen everyone else in so long, I just feel empty." I say and look back down.
"It'll get better, hopefully everyone comes to their senses." He says trying his best to ease everything.
"What If I cant come to my senses Rich? What if I'm crazy?!" I lightly snap at him.
"You're not crazy. Everything will blow over, just calm down." Richie says slowly not knowing what to do.
"I don't want to calm down Richie! Everything's slipping through my fingers, that's something to get a little crazy about!" I say slightly yelling, trying my best not to completely break down.
"Damn, someone's snappy, need a tampon or something?" Richie says as he scoffs a little.
"Are you fucking kidding me Richie! Everything I had is gone, I'm breaking down and I'm feeling the worst I have in years and you go and say that? You're an asshole!"
"God. I understand that joke wasn't the best to make right now but you know I can't help it." He says annoyed I got angry at him.
"You know what Richie, go to the arcade by yourself, I'm going home." I say before turning away, and running off in the other direction. I keep a fast pace until I look back and can't see him anymore.
I slow down and let my breathing go back to normal. I walk against the sidewalk in a gloomy fashion, letting my heals drag every other step.
I hear a little rustle in the bush next to me. I ignore it at first but it never quit, no matter how many more steps I took forward. I finally can't take it anymore and decide to look at what it was, I put my hands on the bushes and pull them in opposite ways. There's nothing there. I let out a sigh of relief, but maybe too soon.
I feel a heavy hand rest on my shoulder, then a sharp claw-like nail gently run down my back. I turn around quickly and I'm met face to face with the dirty clown.
"Hiya Y/n, having a rough day?" He asks as he pushes his bottom lip out and brings his fists to his face, and mock crying. "That's too bad, but I can make you feel better, have a balloon." He says then smiles at me with his yellow teeth.
"I don't want your damn balloon! Leave me alone!" I yell at him and try to run. I feel his big hand wrap around my wrist. I feel my face freeze in panic, and I feel a tinge of regret for yelling at Richie earlier, because those words might be the last I got to say to him.
"Not so fast dear, you're coming with me." He says with a giggle.

"You can float, and be happy, forever."