Senior Squad

41| "This Is Our Crazy Mess."

Johnny

"He hasn't said a word since last night." I told Toby as we watched Lyle sit alone and eat his breakfast.

"He told you everything?"

"Yep."

"As in everything everything?"

"Dude, he gave the whole story yesterday and it was really hard to hear."

"Yeah, no shit." Toby scoffed as he took a hard crunch of his toast. "Imagine going through that alone."

"There's nothing worse than what he went through." I turned to Lyle and saw with his head bowed, twirling the oatmeal with his spoon before facing Toby again. "I just wonder how he's gonna be after this is over."

"If this is over." Toby corrected me.

"Say what?"

Toby sighed. "Look, he is going to have a very hard time being here and even giving him false hope–"

"False hope? He doesn't have any. Hell, we don't even know how he's doing, how bad the trauma is, or what he wants. We don't know any of that shit."

"And maybe that's okay."

"Uh no, it's definitely not okay. I mean, he's broken. He is cracked like a sinking ship and-Hey! Are you listening to me?"

Toby paused for a moment and stared forward to while we overheard someone clearing their throat super loudly much to my annoyance.

"Do you mind?"

"Nope."

Uh oh, I gulped, slowing facing the person I least expected to show up. Fucking hell.

"You know, I can still hear you two talking behind my back." Lyle shook his head and grumbled. "Next time, just ask. Yes, I'm fine. No, I'm not traumatized, I just need space. Can you please do that for me?"

"Lyle, I'm really sorry–"

"Oh, by the way... thanks for describing me as a sinking ship. That honestly made my day. I can't say I'm too surprised though. Rats always leave the sinking ship first."

"But I'm not a rat and you know that."

"Do I really?" Lyle asked with the most resentful scowl planted on his face as he walked away.

Once he was gone, I buried my face in my palms and shook my head. "Fuck."

"Damn. That was brutal."

"Tell me about it." I laughed. "Now he hates me too."

"He doesn't hate you."

"Did you not see what happened right now or were you just blind?"

"No, I saw. That doesn't mean he hates you, it means he needs a break. I don't blame him. Too much of you can be a real hazard."

"Oh bite me." I lightly smacked him on the head prompting him to snicker.

Toby and I then got up and dumped our trays before making our way out. The church bells rung and everyone followed suit to continue the endless activities from hell.

* * * * *

"So, I just heard back from Lindsay and I believe she's really digging me." Devon, one of the boys in our section, announced as we participated in Safe Place Circle. A time for us to express how heterosexual we are when in reality, they are about as straight as the circle we formed.