F is for Fuck | kellic

Chapter 11

Can't thank you guys enough for being so supportive and active w this book even though I suck and update like once every year, I am seriously sorry!

"Not a one night stand?" I asked quietly, my eyes wandering down to catch Vic's hands rubbing my knee ever so gently. I didn't want him to stop so I looked up to his eyes and smiled a little, even though on the inside I was screaming.

"Well, a one night stand is usually when people have sex once and don't do it again right?.. we never even had sex" he said and my heart dropped a little, so did my face and Vic could tell because he began laughing.

Vic's hand moved to my cheek, his thumb resting just under my jaw and he used it to lift my head up so I was looking at him. "I was joking" he whispers. I don't know how he did it, how he managed to make me feel this way but under his touch, his stare, I was minuscule. I felt so vulnerable, but I loved it. "It's not right though Kellin, I'm a teacher, I have responsibilities.." he began.

As I almost leaned my head against his hand, staring into those mesmerising chocolate brown eyes. Chirping up when he began to speak negatively, "One of those responsibilities can be fucking me" I said with a little smirk. Watching him roll his eyes and shake his head made me smirk even more, I just knew he was wrapped around my finger.. or maybe I was wrapped around his?

"Kellin, I'm serious" he said with a soft sigh looking me in the eye, he pushes himself closer to me, the seat he was in rolling closer to mine. Vic rested his forehead against my own. He looked so confused, and I could see the conflict in his eyes. Of course I understood the seriousness but I didn't care, all I knew was I wanted him, and I got everything I wanted.

"I'm not asking for anything serious, I just want some fun.. come on, don't you?" I whisper, my hand moving to Vic's wrist as he cupped my cheek. My eyes closed for a second, it was almost impossible to describe how I felt when he touched me. I felt invincible, beautiful and wanted. "I know you do, and that's all it has to be, no strings attached" I whisper moving my lips closer to Vic's before opening my eyes and looking at him. I could feel his hot breath against my lips, and I knew he wanted me as much as I wanted him but he was scared.

Vic didn't say anything, but he didn't have to, the thing he did next told me everything I needed to know and more. He pulled my face forward and pressed his lips against mine, it was a sweet kiss and laced with desperation. He was soon to deepen in, focusing on my bottom lip for time being, prying them open and then his tongue ran across my lip before entering my mouth. Instantly my hand gripped the back of his hair, holding him close to me as I kissed him back, we were both running short of breath but neither of us wanted to pull away. Instead we were left breathing heavily against one another's lips, as the kiss just got more and more heated.

"No. Strings. Attached." He mumbles against my lips, giving me sweet and short kisses between each word. I honestly wasn't thinking, I was too caught up in this beautiful moment and I just nodded. Mumbling a "sure, whatever.." and kissing him again.

Eventually Vic did have to leave, we didn't do anything but make out because my parents were just downstairs and I could be very, very loud. When he did leave though all I could do was lay on my bed and think about how happy I was. My fingers softly press onto my plump lips, I could still feel him, the warmth and comfort of his lips.

No strings attached. No strings attached Kellin.

That's okay, I could do that, every fling in my life was no strings attached. Unfortunately everyone seemed to get extremely attached to me, well apart from Justin. His strings were more he would love and protect me forever, but nothing romantic. Mike however, was blowing up my phone, after letting it ring ten times I decided I should to answer.

"Mike" I said as I answered the phone holding it up to my ear.

"Kellin.. finally" he says, softly.

"What do you want?"

"Are you actually upset with me?"

"Is that a serious question!" I shouted almost, but honestly most of this was put on. No I wasn't actually upset, I didn't care, I'm actually thankful he went and had sex the other night because now it means I can be with vic.. we'll have a thing with Vic and not feel too bad about it.

"Kells.." He said sadly. "I'm so sorry, I'm so, so sorry. I don't know what happened, I never wanted to make you upset like that" he said quickly.

"Well you did. If you seriously think giving me some shit ass apology is going to win over me you might as well give up now. You're a dick"

"Please Kellin come on.."

"No Mike, I really thought we could of been something" I say into the phone putting on my 'I'm about to cry voice' but really I was scrolling through Netflix picking something to watch for the night.

"I fucked up, I know I did. You have no idea how much you mean to me, she meant absolutely nothing I was just.."

"Desperate for a fuck because I wouldn't give you it within the first month of knowing you? Yeah real classy Mike"

"Baby come on"

"Ew, I'm not your baby"

The line went silent for a long while, I could hear shuffling around and then Mike sighed loudly.

"I just want you to know how sorry I am, I really messed up and I regret it okay. Kellin, I really fucking like you, and I don't want to loose you"

"Too late, you lost me when you didn't even come after me.." I said and hung up.

I was a terrible person. I really don't mean to be but I physically have no control over the stupid things I choose to do. And I know that one day it would all come back to bite me in the ass